Divorcing in your sixties can feel very different from divorcing earlier in life. You may have been married for thirty or forty years. Your children are probably adults, and you may have grandchildren. Retirement, pensions and the family home may all be part of the separation. And you may be wondering whether it’s realistic, or even sensible, to think about dating again at this stage. It is. Many people find love, companionship or simply good company after a divorce in their sixties. But it helps to go into it with your eyes open.
This guide is for people in their sixties who are dating, or thinking about dating, after a divorce or the end of a long relationship. It covers the emotional side of ending a long marriage, readiness, adult children and grandchildren, money and pensions, where people in their sixties meet, apps, health, safety, and what kinds of relationship people often look for. It doesn’t give legal, financial or medical advice. Where those questions come up, we point you to the people who can help.
General information, not legal, financial, pensions or medical or psychological advice
This guide explains how things generally work in the UK so you know what to ask. It is not advice about your situation, and Hearts Again is not a law firm, financial adviser or healthcare provider. Rules differ between England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland and can change. Before you make any decision, speak to a qualified professional:
- a solicitor, for example through the Law Society (England and Wales), the Law Society of Scotland or the Law Society of Northern Ireland, or Citizens Advice for free initial guidance
- a regulated financial adviser (check they are on the FCA Register), or MoneyHelper, the free government-backed money guidance service
- your pension scheme administrator, MoneyHelper pensions guidance (including Pension Wise for people aged 50+), or the Pension Service about the State Pension
- your GP, a counsellor registered with the BACP, or Samaritans on 116 123 if you are struggling
The short answer
- Divorce later in life is common, and so is dating again afterwards. Many people in their sixties find happy new relationships.
- Ending a very long marriage can bring grief as well as relief. Give yourself time to adjust before rushing into dating.
- Adult children may have strong feelings about both the divorce and your new relationships. Their reactions often soften with time.
- Pensions and property are often the biggest financial issues. A solicitor, mediator or regulated financial adviser can explain your options.
- Many people in their sixties look for companionship, a partner to share life with, or living apart together, rather than remarriage.
- Romance scammers target people of all ages, including people newly single later in life. Video call early, and never send money to someone you haven't met.
Divorce in your sixties
Divorce later in life, sometimes called “grey divorce”, isn’t unusual. Many marriages end after children have grown up, after retirement, or after a long period of drifting apart. The Office for National Statistics stopped collecting the ages of people divorcing in England and Wales from 2020, so there are no recent official figures on divorce at 60. But the ONS recorded 102,678 divorces in 2023, and divorces of long marriages are part of that picture.
Since April 2022, divorce in England and Wales has been “no fault”, under the Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020. Scotland and Northern Ireland have their own systems. If you have questions about the process, a family solicitor can explain where you stand.
The emotional side of ending a long marriage
After decades together, a divorce can affect almost every part of life: your home, your routines, your friendships, your family and your sense of who you are. Many people describe feeling a mix of:
- Grief, for the marriage, the shared history and the future you’d imagined
- Relief, especially if the marriage had been unhappy for a long time
- Fear, about being alone, money or the future
- Freedom, and curiosity about a new chapter
- Guilt or embarrassment, particularly about what family and friends think
All of these are normal. Some people find it helps to talk to a counsellor, particularly if the divorce was painful or unexpected. Your GP can tell you about NHS talking therapies, and Relate offers counselling for individuals. Our guide to dating again after a long marriage explores what it’s like to start again after decades with one person.
Are you ready to date?
There’s no right time. Some people have been emotionally separated for years before the divorce, and feel ready quickly. Others need time to adjust to living alone, or to a new home. Signs you may be ready:
- You’re settled in your living situation, or have a plan
- You can talk about your ex without intense anger or sadness, most of the time
- You want company, not a rescue
- You have a life of your own: friends, interests, routines
- You can imagine enjoying a date for its own sake
Our guides to how to know you’re ready to date again and how long to wait to date after a separation have more.
Adult children and grandchildren
Your children may be in their thirties or forties, with families of their own. You might expect them to take your divorce in their stride, but many adult children find a parent’s divorce hard, and a parent dating again harder still.
Common reactions include:
- Taking sides, or feeling torn between parents
- Worrying about you, or about their other parent
- Feeling protective, especially about money, the family home or inheritance
- Finding it strange to see a parent dating
Things that often help:
- Telling them yourself when a relationship is becoming serious, rather than letting them find out
- Keeping them separate from early dating
- Reassuring them about their place in your life, and your grandchildren’s
- Being patient. Reactions often soften over time
Our guides to when adult children disapprove of your new partner and protecting your children’s inheritance cover these issues in detail.
Money, pensions and property
For many people divorcing in their sixties, the biggest practical issues are pensions and property. You may be close to retirement, or already retired, which can make the financial settlement especially important.
Things people commonly need to understand include:
- How pensions are dealt with on divorce. In the UK, there are several ways pensions can be dealt with in a divorce, including pension sharing. MoneyHelper has free, impartial guidance on pensions and divorce.
- What happens to the family home.
- Your own retirement income, including your State Pension and any private pensions.
- Your will, which may need updating after divorce.
- Benefits, which can change when your circumstances change.
These are areas where getting advice is important. A family solicitor, mediator or regulated financial adviser can explain your options. Citizens Advice can help too, and the Money and Pensions Service runs MoneyHelper.
Money in new relationships
Once your settlement is complete, new relationships bring their own money questions, especially if you move in with someone. Our guides to money in later-life relationships, what happens to your pension if you remarry, cohabitation rights in England and Wales and cohabitation rights in Scotland explain the general rules.
What kind of relationship do you want?
After a long marriage, many people in their sixties find they want something different. Options include:
- A committed relationship, with or without living together
- Living apart together, where you’re a couple but keep your own homes. Our guide to living apart together after 50 explores this.
- Companionship, someone to share trips, meals and conversation with
- Something casual, at least at first
- Remarriage, for some people
It’s worth thinking about what you want, and being honest about it when you date. Our guides to whether to remarry after 50 and when one partner wants marriage and the other wants companionship can help.
Where people in their sixties meet
Dating sites and apps
Many people in their sixties use dating sites and apps. Some are aimed specifically at older people, and some are general. Things to think about:
- Sites aimed at over-50s or longer-term relationships may have more people your age.
- General apps may have fewer users in their sixties in some areas, but can still work, especially in cities.
- Free trials and free versions can help you see who’s on a service before paying.
Our Dating App Matcher can suggest services that suit your age and situation. Our guides to dating after 60 and never used a dating app before? explain how to get started.
Offline
Many people in their sixties meet partners through:
- u3a groups, which offer learning and social activities for people no longer in full-time work
- Walking groups, choirs, dance classes and clubs
- Volunteering
- Faith communities
- Friends and family
- Holidays and travel, including group trips. Our guide to solo travel after 50 has ideas.
Our guides to alternatives to online dating after 50 and how to make friends after divorce have more.
Your profile and first dates
Your profile
- Use recent photos, including a clear smiling face photo
- Mention your divorce briefly, if at all: “Divorced after a long marriage, and enjoying a new chapter”
- Say what you enjoy, and what you’re looking for
- Be honest about your age
Our guides to what to say on your profile after divorce, dating profile photos after 50 and our Profile Builder can help.
First dates
If you haven’t been on a first date for forty years, it’s natural to feel nervous. Keep it simple: coffee, lunch or a walk, somewhere public. Our guides to first dates after years of marriage, first date conversation after 50 and whether to talk about your divorce on a first date cover what to expect.
Health and intimacy
Health often becomes part of dating in your sixties. You or a new partner may have a health condition, mobility issues, or changes in sexual health. A few things to know:
- Talking about health honestly, when the time feels right, usually builds trust. Our guide to dating with a health condition covers what to share and when.
- Intimacy may feel different after a long marriage. Our guides to sex with a new partner after 50 and intimacy without sex after 50 cover the conversations involved.
- Sexual health matters at any age. Our guide to sexual health and STI testing with a new partner explains the basics, and NHS sexual health clinics offer free, confidential advice.
Staying safe, especially from scams
Romance scammers target people of all ages, and someone newly single, perhaps with money from a settlement, can look like an attractive target. Warning signs include:
- Someone who seems too good to be true, and is very keen very quickly
- Excuses to avoid video calls or meeting
- Claims to be working abroad, on an oil rig or in the military
- Requests for money, gifts, or help with an emergency
- Talk of investments or cryptocurrency
Never send money to someone you haven’t met in person. Our guides to dating app scams targeting over-50s, romance scam messages and crypto romance scams explain the common patterns, and our Scam Red-Flag Checker can help.
For first dates, our first date safety checklist covers the basics.
Living alone for the first time
For some people, divorce at 60 means living alone for the first time in decades, or ever. That can be a big adjustment, and it’s worth giving it attention before, or alongside, dating. Things people often find help:
- Building a weekly routine, with fixed points such as a class, a walk with a friend or a regular phone call
- Learning the tasks your spouse used to handle, whether that’s finances, cooking or home maintenance. Local adult education courses, libraries and online guides can help.
- Making your home your own, even in small ways
- Staying connected, especially at weekends and in the evenings, which many people find the hardest times
- Noticing loneliness early. Age UK’s advice line and local befriending services can help if you’re feeling isolated.
Being comfortable in your own company often makes dating easier. It means you’re choosing someone because you want to, not because you can’t face being alone.
Your first few months of dating
If you’re not sure where to start, a gentle plan can help:
- Month one. Update your photos, write a short profile, and try one site or app. Our Profile Builder can help.
- Month two. Message a few people, and arrange a phone or video call before meeting anyone.
- Month three. Go on a few first dates, somewhere public and in daylight if you prefer. Notice how you feel afterwards.
- Throughout. Keep up friendships and interests, and take breaks if it starts to feel like a chore.
There’s no deadline. Some people meet someone quickly. Others take a year or more. Both are normal.
Rebuilding your social life
After a long marriage, many couples share friends. Some may take sides, drift away or feel awkward. It’s common to find your social circle smaller than it was. Rebuilding it takes time, but it’s worth it, whether or not you meet a partner. Joining one or two regular activities, saying yes to invitations, and reconnecting with old friends can all help.
What’s different about dating at 60 after divorce
| At 60 after divorce | What it often means |
|---|---|
| Long marriage behind you | Adjusting to a new identity, and possibly grief |
| Adult children and grandchildren | Family opinions, and questions about inheritance |
| Retirement and pensions | Financial settlement matters a great deal |
| More time, for some | Flexibility for daytime dates and travel |
| Health more likely to feature | Honest conversations about health and intimacy |
| Many people want companionship or LAT | Remarriage isn’t the only option |
Common situations
“I haven’t dated since the 1980s”
Lots has changed, but the basics haven’t: kindness, curiosity and good conversation. Our guide to modern dating terms explains the new language.
“My children think I’m being foolish”
Listen to their concerns, especially about safety and money, but remember it’s your life. Introducing them to a partner once things are serious often helps.
“My ex has met someone”
That can be painful, even after a long, unhappy marriage. Our guide to what to do if your ex finds someone first can help.
“I’m worried about being a carer again”
Some people who’ve cared for a partner, or worry about it, prefer not to live together. Living apart together, and being honest about what you want, can help.
“I’m lonely, but not sure I want a relationship”
That’s understandable. Building friendships and a social life can help, whether or not you date. Our guides to how to make friends after 50 and whether you can be happy single and still want a relationship explore this.
Questions to ask yourself
- What do I want from a relationship now, compared with when I married?
- Is my financial settlement complete, and do I understand my position?
- How will I handle my children’s reactions?
- What would I want if a relationship became serious: living together, apart, or marriage?
- Am I looking after my wellbeing, friends and interests?
- Would I recognise the warning signs of a romance scam?
Frequently asked questions
Is it too late to date after divorce at 60?
No. Many people in their sixties and beyond find new relationships, companionship or love after divorce.
How long should I wait to date after divorce at 60?
There’s no rule. It depends on whether you’re emotionally ready and settled. Some people date within months, others wait longer.
Should I sort out my finances before dating?
Many people find it easier to date once their financial settlement is complete. A solicitor or regulated financial adviser can explain your position.
What if my adult children don’t approve?
Listen to their concerns, give them time, and keep them separate from early dating. Reactions often soften once they meet a partner.
Do I have to remarry or live together?
No. Many people in their sixties prefer companionship or living apart together.
How do I avoid romance scams?
Video call before meeting, be wary of anyone who’s very keen very quickly, and never send money to someone you haven’t met.
Related guides
- Dating profile examples after divorce
- Dating after a second divorce
- Dating after an amicable divorce
- How to start dating again after divorce at 50
- Dating after 60: a complete UK guide
- Dating after divorce at 40
- Dating again after a long marriage
- Your first relationship after divorce: what to expect
- Living apart together after 50
Sources
- Office for National Statistics, Divorces in England and Wales: 2023, and FOI response on ages at divorce.
- Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020 (in force April 2022).
- MoneyHelper, pensions and divorce guidance.
- NHS, talking therapies and sexual health services.
- Relate, counselling services; u3a; Age UK.