Should You Remarry After 50? Marriage vs Living Together vs Living Apart

ResearchedUpdated 21 October 2026
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When you meet someone special later in life, the question of “what next” looks different from first time round. You may have homes, pensions, savings, children and grandchildren to think about, and perhaps the experience of a marriage that ended in divorce or bereavement. Some couples remarry, some move in together, and a growing number choose to stay in their own homes. None of these is the “right” answer, but they have very different emotional, legal and financial consequences.

This guide compares the three main options for couples over 50 in the UK: marriage (or civil partnership), living together, and living apart together. It explains the legal differences most people don’t know about, including wills, inheritance, pensions and property, how the rules differ across England and Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland, how to protect children’s inheritance, and the conversations to have before you decide.

General information, not legal, financial or pensions advice

This guide explains how things generally work in the UK so you know what to ask. It is not advice about your situation, and Hearts Again is not a law firm, financial adviser or healthcare provider. Rules differ between England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland and can change. Before you make any decision, speak to a qualified professional:

The short answer

  • There are three main options: marry (or form a civil partnership), live together unmarried, or live apart together.
  • There is no such thing as "common law marriage" in England and Wales. Living together gives you very few automatic rights.
  • In England and Wales, getting married cancels an existing will. In Scotland it doesn't.
  • Transfers between spouses and civil partners are generally free of inheritance tax; transfers to an unmarried partner are not.
  • Remarrying or cohabiting can affect some survivor's pensions and benefits.
  • Whatever you choose, it affects your will, so that's worth raising with a solicitor. Talking openly about money and family helps too.

The three main options

1. Marriage or civil partnership

Gives you the strongest legal protection as a couple: inheritance rights, financial claims if you separate, tax advantages, and recognition as next of kin in many situations. It also brings you and your finances together in law, which has consequences for children from earlier relationships.

2. Living together (cohabiting)

You share a home but aren’t married. It can feel like marriage day to day, but legally it’s very different, especially in England and Wales.

3. Living apart together

You’re a committed couple but keep separate homes. Your finances and property stay separate, which many people over 50 find simpler. See our full guide to living apart together after 50.

Why the decision is different after 50

  • You have more to protect: homes, pensions, savings and inheritances for children.
  • Families are more complicated: adult children, stepchildren, grandchildren and former in-laws.
  • You may have been through divorce, and not want to risk another complicated separation.
  • You may be widowed, with feelings about remarriage tied up with memories and family.
  • Health and care become more important considerations over time.
  • Pensions and benefits can be affected by remarriage or cohabitation.

What most people don’t know about living together

Many people believe that after living together for a while, they become “common law” spouses. In England and Wales, common law marriage does not exist. According to the House of Commons Library, cohabitation gives no general legal status to a couple. Cohabiting couples don’t automatically inherit from each other, and have far fewer financial claims if they separate than married couples. Reform has been recommended by the Law Commission, but the law has not changed.

In Scotland, cohabitants have some limited rights to make financial claims when a relationship ends or a partner dies, but these are much narrower than for married couples, and there are strict time limits.

In Northern Ireland, as in England and Wales, cohabitants have very limited rights.

Marriage and your will

  • In England and Wales, marriage automatically cancels (revokes) an existing will, unless the will was made in contemplation of that particular marriage. If you remarry and don’t make a new will, your estate may be distributed under the intestacy rules, which may not reflect your wishes, particularly for children from an earlier relationship.
  • In Scotland, marriage does not cancel an existing will. But your new spouse may have legal rights to part of your estate, whatever your will says.
  • Divorce also affects wills. In England and Wales, gifts to an ex-spouse are treated as if they had died. In Scotland, since 2016, divorce generally has a similar effect.

This is why solicitors generally suggest a will review when people marry, move in together or divorce.

Inheritance tax

Transfers between spouses and civil partners are generally exempt from inheritance tax in the UK. Transfers to an unmarried partner, whether you live together or apart, are not. For couples with significant assets, this can make a real difference, and it’s one reason some older couples choose to marry.

Inheritance tax rules are complex and change over time, so take advice from a regulated adviser if this could apply to you.

Pensions and benefits

Remarrying or cohabiting can affect some payments:

  • Survivor’s pensions. Some widow’s or widower’s pensions from workplace or public sector schemes may stop or change if you remarry, form a civil partnership or live with a new partner. Rules vary between schemes and depend on when you joined.
  • Means-tested benefits. If you live with a partner, benefits such as Pension Credit or Universal Credit are usually assessed on your joint income and savings.
  • Nominating a partner. Many pension schemes let you nominate who receives benefits if you die. Unmarried partners may need to be nominated explicitly.

Check the specific rules of any pension or benefit you receive before making a decision.

Property

How you own a home together matters, especially if you have children from earlier relationships.

  • Moving into a partner’s home. If you move into a home your partner owns, you may have few rights to stay there if they die or you separate, unless arrangements are in place.
  • Buying together. In England and Wales, you can own property as “joint tenants” (the home passes automatically to the survivor) or “tenants in common” (each owns a share that can be left to someone else, such as children). A declaration of trust can record who contributed what.
  • Selling your home. Selling to move in with a partner can make it hard to get back on the property ladder if the relationship ends. It’s a decision people usually discuss with a solicitor and financial adviser first.

Comparing the options

Marriage suits you if…

  • you want the security of legal recognition and inheritance rights
  • you’re comfortable combining finances, or have agreed how to protect children’s inheritance
  • marriage matters to you personally or for your faith
  • inheritance tax advantages are significant for you

Living together suits you if…

  • you want to share daily life but don’t want to marry
  • you’ve both made wills and put agreements in place (a cohabitation agreement can help)
  • you understand the limited legal protection, especially in England and Wales

Living apart together suits you if…

  • you value independence and your own home
  • you want to keep finances and property separate
  • you want closeness without merging everything

Protecting children’s inheritance

This is one of the biggest concerns for couples over 50. Common approaches include:

  • New wills, made at the right time (after marriage in England and Wales).
  • Trusts in your will, for example allowing a surviving partner to live in the home for their lifetime, with the home then passing to your children.
  • Owning property as tenants in common, so each share can be left separately.
  • Prenuptial or cohabitation agreements, setting out what happens to assets if you separate. Their legal status differs across the UK.
  • Life insurance to provide for a partner or children.

The right approach depends on your circumstances and where in the UK you live.

Three couples, three choices

These couples are written by us to illustrate how different circumstances lead to different choices. They’re not real people, and their decisions aren’t recommendations.

Margaret and John: married

Margaret, 66, and John, 69, were both widowed. After three years together, they decided to marry because their faith matters to them and they wanted the security of legal recognition. Before the wedding, they took advice and made new wills, timed for after the marriage in England, with trusts allowing the survivor to stay in their home for life before it passes to their respective children. Their children were reassured by the plan.

Sandra and Pete: living together, unmarried

Sandra, 58, and Pete, 61, are both divorced and don’t want to marry again. Sandra moved into Pete’s house after two years. Because they live in England, where cohabitants have few rights, they signed a cohabitation agreement and made wills. Pete’s will gives Sandra the right to stay in the house for two years if he dies first, giving her time to plan, with the house then passing to his children.

Hilary and Tom: living apart together

Hilary, 71, and Tom, 73, live 15 minutes apart in Scotland. Both love their homes and are close to their grandchildren. They see each other most days and holiday together. They’ve each made wills leaving a gift to the other, and appointed each other, alongside their children, as attorneys.

What they share: each couple talked openly, took advice and put their decisions in writing.

Talking to adult children

Adult children often have strong feelings about a parent remarrying or moving in with a partner, sometimes because of grief, loyalty to the other parent, or worries about inheritance.

  • Tell them before it’s public, and in person if possible.
  • Explain your reasons: what the relationship means to you and why you’ve chosen this option.
  • Be open about practical arrangements, especially wills and property, even if you don’t share every detail.
  • Listen to their concerns. Some may be worth addressing.
  • Give them time to adjust.

If family disapproval is causing serious difficulty, see when adult children disapprove of your new partner.

Getting married again: practical points

If you decide to marry or form a civil partnership, these are the practical steps and issues that usually come up:

  • Giving notice. In England and Wales, both of you must give notice at your local register office at least 29 days before the ceremony. In Scotland, notice must also be given at least 29 days in advance, and National Records of Scotland suggests giving it earlier.
  • Documents. If you’re divorced, you’ll usually need your decree absolute or final order. If you’re widowed, you’ll usually need your late spouse’s death certificate. Your register office will confirm what it needs.
  • Your will. In England and Wales, marriage cancels an existing will unless it was made in contemplation of the marriage, so timing is something to discuss with a solicitor.
  • Prenuptial agreements. Some couples ask a solicitor whether a prenuptial agreement is appropriate. How one is treated differs across the UK.
  • Pensions, insurance and powers of attorney. Nominations and policies may name the wrong people after a marriage. Your providers can tell you how to check and change them.
  • Survivor’s pensions. If you receive one, your scheme’s rules may require you to tell them about a marriage or civil partnership.

Care in later life

As couples get older, care becomes an important part of the decision.

  • If one partner needs care at home, living together can make it easier to support each other, but it can also place a heavy burden on the healthier partner.
  • If one partner needs residential care, how your finances are assessed for care costs can depend on whether you’re married, living together or living apart, and on how your home is owned. The rules differ across the UK.
  • Powers of attorney are important whichever option you choose, so the right people can make decisions if you’re unable to.

These questions can feel uncomfortable, but it’s much easier to discuss them while you’re both well. Take advice from a solicitor or specialist care fees adviser if this is a concern.

The emotional side

Legal and financial questions matter, but so do feelings.

  • Marriage may feel meaningful, or it may feel unnecessary, especially after a painful divorce.
  • Remarrying after bereavement can bring up complex feelings for you and your family.
  • Moving in together means compromise on routines, space and habits built over decades.
  • Living apart can feel freeing, or lonely on the days apart.

It helps to talk honestly with your partner about what each option means to you, not just what it means legally.

Questions to talk through together

  • Where would we live, and who would own the home?
  • What happens to each of our homes and savings if one of us dies?
  • How would we share day-to-day costs?
  • How do our children feel, and what would they inherit?
  • What would happen if one of us needed care?
  • Does marriage matter to either of us, and why?
  • Would either of our pensions or benefits change?

Having these conversations isn’t unromantic. It’s what lets a later-life relationship feel secure.

Getting good advice

Because the stakes are high, it’s worth getting professional advice before making big decisions. Some options:

  • A family solicitor for wills, prenuptial and cohabitation agreements, property ownership and powers of attorney. The Law Society (England and Wales) and the Law Society of Scotland have searchable directories.
  • A regulated financial adviser for pensions, investments and inheritance tax. You can check an adviser is authorised on the Financial Conduct Authority register.
  • MoneyHelper, the government-backed service, for free, impartial guidance on pensions and money.
  • Citizens Advice for free general guidance on rights and benefits.

It can help to see an adviser together as a couple, and separately too, so each of you understands your own position.

A decision you can revisit

Your choice doesn’t have to be permanent. Many couples start by living apart, then move in together; others live together for years before marrying; some marry and keep separate homes. What matters is that the arrangement works for both of you now, that you both understand the legal and financial consequences, and that your paperwork reflects your wishes. Reviewing things every few years, or whenever circumstances change, keeps your arrangements up to date.

Frequently asked questions

Do we become common law spouses after living together for years?

Not in England and Wales. Common law marriage doesn’t exist there, however long you live together.

Should I make a will before or after remarrying?

In England and Wales, marriage cancels an existing will unless it was made in contemplation of the marriage, so a solicitor can advise on timing. In Scotland, marriage doesn’t cancel a will, but a new spouse gains legal rights, which a Scottish solicitor can explain.

Can we marry but keep our finances separate?

Yes, day to day. But marriage still gives each spouse legal rights on divorce or death, which is why some couples consider prenuptial agreements and careful wills.

Will remarrying affect my widow’s pension?

It might. Check the rules of your specific pension scheme.

Is a cohabitation agreement worth it?

Solicitors often suggest considering one where unmarried couples live together, particularly if one partner owns the home or contributes more financially. A solicitor can tell you whether one suits your situation.

What if we can’t agree on which option to choose?

It’s common for one partner to want marriage or living together while the other prefers to keep things as they are. Try to understand what each option means to the other person, whether that’s security, commitment, independence or protecting family. A compromise, such as living apart with strong legal arrangements in place, or a trial period of living together, can sometimes bridge the gap.

Related guides

Sources

  • House of Commons Library, “Common law marriage” and cohabitation (updated 2026).
  • Guidance from UK solicitors on the effect of marriage and divorce on wills in England and Wales and in Scotland, including the Succession (Scotland) Act 2016.