Dating App Scams Targeting Over-50s in the UK

Romance fraud is one of the most painful crimes there is, because it attacks both your finances and your trust. It also disproportionately affects people who are dating later in life. Scammers are patient, organised and often very kind, which is exactly what makes them effective. The good news is that most romance scams follow recognisable patterns, and knowing them is the best protection there is.

This guide explains how big the problem is in the UK, how romance scams work step by step, the main types of scam targeting over-50s, the red flags, how to check whether someone is real, what to do if you’re worried, how to get your money back, how to help someone else, and how to date safely from the start.

The short answer

UK victims reported losing more than £100 million to romance fraud in 2025, and people aged 55 to 74 accounted for almost half of the losses.
Scammers are patient. They build trust over weeks or months before money is ever mentioned.
The biggest red flags: moving you off the app quickly, avoiding video calls, a story about working overseas, and any request for money or "investments".
Never send money, gift cards or crypto to someone you haven't met in person.
If you're worried, stop, talk to someone you trust, call your bank (dial 159), and report it.
UK bank transfers lost to scams can often be reimbursed, up to £85,000, if you report within 13 months.

How big is the problem?

According to City of London Police data from the Report Fraud service, UK victims reported losing around £102 million to romance scams in 2025, across more than 10,700 reports: a 29% rise on the previous year. That’s an average loss of around £9,500 per victim, and some individuals lost as much as £1 million. People aged 55 to 74 accounted for almost half of all losses. Men made the most reports, but women lost the most money.

These figures only cover crimes that were reported. Many victims never come forward, often because they feel embarrassed. They shouldn’t: these are professional criminals, often working in organised groups, and anyone can be targeted.

Why people over 50 are targeted

Scammers target people dating later in life for several reasons:

Loneliness. People who are widowed, divorced or living alone may welcome attention and companionship.
Trust. Many people over 50 grew up in communities where trusting others was the norm.
Savings. Older people are more likely to have savings, pensions or property.
Less familiarity with apps, and with how online scams work.
Recent loss. Bereavement, divorce or retirement can leave people emotionally vulnerable.

None of this means older people are gullible. Romance scams are carefully designed to work on anyone.

How romance scams usually work

Most follow a recognisable pattern.

The approach. An attractive, friendly profile gets in touch on a dating app or social media. They’re often very complimentary, very quickly.
Moving off the app. They suggest switching to WhatsApp, text or email, often with a reason (“I’m hardly ever on here”).
Building trust. Daily messages, good-morning texts, shared plans for the future. It can go on for weeks or months.
The distance. They can’t meet or video call: working overseas, in the military, on an oil rig, travelling for work.
The request. A sudden problem that money would solve (medical bills, customs fees, a frozen bank account, a plane ticket to come and see you), or an “investment opportunity”, often in cryptocurrency.
Escalation. Once you’ve sent money once, the requests usually keep coming, often bigger each time.
Pressure and isolation. If you hesitate, they may use guilt, urgency or ask you not to tell family.

For examples of the messages used at each stage, see romance scam messages: the scripts scammers use.

The main types of scam

The classic romance scam

A long-distance relationship built over weeks or months, followed by requests for money for emergencies, travel or problems.

The military or overseas professional

The scammer claims to be a soldier on deployment, a doctor with an aid agency, an engineer on an oil rig or a contractor abroad. These roles explain why they can’t meet, why video calls are difficult, and why they might need help with money.

The investment or crypto scam

Rather than asking for money for an emergency, the scammer casually mentions how well they’ve done trading crypto or foreign exchange, then offers to “help” you do the same. They may show you a convincing platform where your balance appears to grow, until you try to withdraw it. This is sometimes called “pig butchering”.

The parcel or customs scam

The scammer says they’ve sent you a gift, money or valuables, which are now stuck at customs. You’re asked to pay a “release fee” to a courier or official, who is part of the scam.

The gift card scam

You’re asked to buy gift cards (for example, Apple, Amazon or Steam) and send the codes. Gift cards are hard to trace, which is why scammers like them.

Sextortion

The scammer encourages you to share intimate photos or videos, then threatens to send them to your friends and family unless you pay. This is increasingly common, and men are frequent targets.

The “money mule” request

You’re asked to receive money into your bank account and send it on elsewhere, perhaps as a “favour”. This can make you part of money laundering without realising, which can have serious consequences, including the closure of your bank account.

Fake dating sites and “verification” scams

You’re asked to click a link to “verify” your identity or join a “safer” dating site, which then asks for payment details. The site is fake.

Recovery scams

After a romance scam, victims are sometimes contacted by people offering to recover their lost money for a fee. These are almost always scams too.

Where romance scams start

Not all romance scams begin on dating sites. Police data shows many start through fake profiles on social media. Common starting points include:

Dating apps and websites, including paid services.
Facebook and Instagram, through friend requests or messages from strangers, sometimes in groups for widowed people, hobbies or faith communities.
“Wrong number” messages on WhatsApp or by text, which turn into friendly chats.
Online games and word apps, where players can message each other.
LinkedIn, where scammers pose as professionals.

Wherever it starts, the pattern is the same: rapid affection, a move to private messaging, reasons not to meet, and eventually money.

How scammers tailor the story

Scammers often adapt their approach to your circumstances, using what you’ve shared in your profile or messages:

If you’re widowed, they may claim to be widowed too, creating a sense of shared grief and understanding.
If you’re recently divorced, they may present themselves as loyal, faithful and everything your ex wasn’t.
If you have faith, they may use religious language and talk about God bringing you together.
If you’re retired with savings, investment “opportunities” are more likely.
If you mention your job or hobbies, they may claim similar interests.

This is why it’s wise to keep personal and financial details private until you’ve met someone and got to know them.

The red flags

Be very cautious if someone you've met online…

declares strong feelings very quickly

wants to move to WhatsApp or text straight away

always has an excuse not to video call or meet

says they work overseas, in the military or on an oil rig

asks for money, gift cards, crypto, or help with a payment

talks about an investment or trading platform that’s “made them a fortune”

asks you to keep the relationship secret from friends or family

has a story with details that change or don’t add up

asks you to receive or move money for them

asks for intimate photos

Other clues

Photos that look professional, or much younger than their stated age.
Language that doesn’t match their claimed background, or copied romantic poetry.
A very recent profile with few details.
A mobile number from another country when they say they live in the UK.
Stories of great wealth that don’t match their situation.

How to check if someone is real

Insist on a video call before things go any further. A genuine person will usually manage one within a week or two.
Reverse image search their photos. Upload them to Google Lens or TinEye to see whether the pictures appear elsewhere under different names.
Search their name and details with words like “scam”.
Check their story. If they claim to be in the military, remember that genuine service personnel don’t need money from you for leave, flights or phone calls.
Ask a friend or relative for a second opinion. Police advice specifically recommends this. It’s much easier to spot the pattern from the outside.
Stay on the dating app until you’re confident. Apps can check and remove fake profiles.

What to do if you’re worried

If someone has asked you for money

Stop. Don’t send anything else, and don’t reply while you think.

Talk to someone you trust: a friend, relative or your bank.

Call your bank straight away if you’ve already paid. Dial 159 to be connected to your bank’s fraud team by many UK banks, or use the number on the back of your card.

Report it to Report Fraud on 0300 123 2040 or at reportfraud.police.uk (England, Wales and Northern Ireland), or to Police Scotland on 101.

Report the profile to the dating app or social network.

Keep evidence: screenshots of messages, profiles and payment details.

You can also forward suspicious text messages to 7726, a free service that helps mobile networks block scam senders.

Can you get your money back?

Possibly. Since 7 October 2024, UK banks and payment firms have had to reimburse most victims of authorised push payment (APP) scams, including romance scams, where the money was sent by bank transfer (Faster Payments or CHAPS). Key points from the Payment Systems Regulator:

Maximum: you can claim up to £85,000.
Time limit: you must report within 13 months of the payment.
Speed: refunds should usually arrive within 5 business days, or up to 35 if the firm needs more information.
Excess: firms may apply an excess of up to £100, but not for vulnerable customers.
Exceptions: you may not be reimbursed if you were complicit or “grossly negligent”, but this is a high bar, and it doesn’t apply to vulnerable customers.
Not covered by this scheme: card payments, cash, cheques, gift cards and cryptocurrency have separate or limited protections.

If you’re unhappy with your bank’s decision, you can complain to the Financial Ombudsman Service. Always contact your bank as soon as possible, as the sooner they know, the more they may be able to do.

What to tell your bank

When you call your bank about a possible romance scam, it helps to have the details ready:

the dates and amounts of any payments
the account details or payment methods you sent money to
how you met the person and how long you’ve been in contact
any messages or documents that show what they told you

Tell the bank clearly that you think you’ve been the victim of a romance scam. Ask whether the payments are covered by the reimbursement rules, and what happens next. Make a note of who you spoke to and any reference number.

Protecting yourself afterwards

After a romance scam, criminals may try again, or sell your details to other scammers. Some steps that help:

Change passwords for email, banking and any accounts you may have shared details about.
Turn on two-factor authentication for important accounts.
Tell your bank to watch for unusual activity.
Check your credit file for any accounts opened in your name.
Be wary of new contacts who approach you soon afterwards, especially anyone offering to help recover your money.
Consider the Cifas Protective Registration service, which can help protect you from identity fraud if your personal details have been compromised.

Beware “recovery” scams

After a romance scam, you may be contacted by someone claiming they can recover your money, often posing as a lawyer, investigator or government agency, for an upfront fee. These are almost always scams. Only deal with your bank, the police and organisations you’ve contacted yourself.

If it’s happened to you

Being scammed is not your fault. Romance fraudsters are organised criminals who use tested scripts, and they target kind, open, trusting people. Many victims feel grief as well as financial loss, because the relationship felt real. Some feel ashamed or angry with themselves. All of these feelings are normal.

Talking to someone helps. Victim Support offers free, confidential help in England and Wales, and Victim Support Scotland does the same in Scotland. Your GP can also help if you’re struggling.

Helping someone you think is being scammed

If you’re worried about a parent, relative or friend:

Stay calm and non-judgemental. Accusations can push them closer to the scammer.
Ask questions: “Have you had a video call? Has he ever asked for money?”
Share information, such as this guide, rather than insisting it’s a scam.
Encourage a video call as a test.
Keep in touch. Scammers try to isolate victims.
If money has been sent, encourage them to call their bank immediately.

Dating safely from the start

Keep conversations on the dating app until you’ve had a video call or met.
Don’t share your address, workplace or financial details early on.
Check your WhatsApp privacy settings before sharing your number. See how to spot a romance scam on WhatsApp.
Meet in a public place and tell a friend where you’re going.
Never send money to someone you haven’t met, whatever the reason.
Never share intimate photos with someone you haven’t met.

Frequently asked questions

Can scammers be on paid dating sites?

Yes. Paid sites may have more checks, but scammers can still get through. Stay alert wherever you meet people.

What if they’ve never asked for money?

That’s a good sign, but some scammers wait months. Keep an eye out for the other red flags, and insist on a video call.

Can I get money back if I paid by gift card or crypto?

It’s much harder. Contact the gift card company and your bank immediately, and report it to the police.

Should I confront the scammer?

It’s safer not to. Stop contact, keep evidence, block them and report them.

Will the police investigate?

Reports help build intelligence about scams, even if an individual case can’t be investigated. Always report.

How long do romance scams usually last?

Some move quickly, with a request for money within days. Others build a relationship over many months before asking. A long, loving relationship with someone you’ve never met or seen on video isn’t a sign that it’s genuine. It may simply be a patient scam.

Not sure about someone?

Our free Romance Scam Red-Flag Checker lets you tick the warning signs that apply to someone you’ve met online and explains what they can mean and what to do next. Nothing you tick is saved.

Related guides

Sources

City of London Police, romance fraud data from the Report Fraud service for 2025 (published May 2026).
City of London Police: Report Fraud has replaced Action Fraud for England, Wales and Northern Ireland (December 2025).
Payment Systems Regulator, APP fraud reimbursement protections.