Sooner or later, a match will suggest moving the conversation to WhatsApp or text. It’s a normal part of modern dating, and plenty of genuine couples chat on WhatsApp long before they meet. But timing matters. Move too soon and you lose the dating app’s protections and give away more personal information than you might realise. Wait a little, and you’ll know whether the person is genuine.
This guide explains when it’s sensible to move off a dating app, what your phone number and WhatsApp profile can reveal, the privacy settings to change first, safer alternatives, the red flags to watch for, polite ways to say “not yet”, and what to do if a conversation on WhatsApp starts to worry you. It also covers email and social media, which some matches suggest instead.
The short answer
- A good rule of thumb: stay on the app until you've had a video call, or are about to meet.
- Dating apps have safety checks and reporting tools that WhatsApp doesn't.
- Your number can link to your WhatsApp photo, name and sometimes other information online.
- Being asked to move to WhatsApp very early is a common first step in romance scams.
- Before sharing your number, check your WhatsApp privacy settings.
- A genuine match will be happy to wait.
Why not move straight away?
The app protects you
Dating apps and sites have tools you lose when you move to WhatsApp:
- Reporting and blocking. You can report a suspicious profile, and the service can investigate and remove it.
- Fraud detection. Many services monitor for patterns associated with scams, such as copied messages or sudden requests for money.
- Unmatching. If a conversation turns unpleasant, you can simply unmatch, and they can no longer contact you.
- A record. If something goes wrong, the service may have information that helps.
Your number reveals more than you think
Sharing your phone number can give someone access to:
- your WhatsApp profile photo, name and “About” text
- whether you’re online, and when you were last seen (depending on settings)
- your number in their contacts, which some apps may use to suggest you as a friend or contact
- in some cases, other accounts or information linked to your number online
This is usually harmless with a genuine person, but it’s worth knowing before you share it.
It’s harder to walk away
On an app you can simply unmatch. With your number, you’d have to block them, and they could still try to contact you in other ways.
The best time to move
For most people, a sensible point is:
- after a successful video call, when you know they’re who they say they are, or
- just before your first date, so you can share arrangements or let each other know if you’re running late.
If you’ve chatted for a week or two, had a video call, and feel comfortable, moving to WhatsApp is a perfectly normal step. There’s no need to wait longer than you want to once you’re confident someone is genuine.
If you’re new to WhatsApp
WhatsApp is a free messaging app that uses your phone number. Many people over 50 use it to keep in touch with family. If you’re not familiar with it:
- Messages are sent over the internet, so they don’t use up texts.
- You can make voice and video calls free over Wi-Fi or mobile data.
- Anyone with your number can message you, unless you block them.
- Your profile shows a photo, name and “About” line to others, depending on your privacy settings.
- Blue ticks show when a message has been read, unless read receipts are turned off.
What each way of chatting reveals
Different ways of staying in touch share different amounts of information. This comparison can help you decide what you’re comfortable with at each stage.
| Method | What they learn about you | Safety tools | Best used |
|---|---|---|---|
| App messages | Only what’s on your profile | Report, block, unmatch, fraud monitoring | Early conversations |
| In-app video call | Your face and voice; no number | As above | Before a first date |
| Your number, photo, name and “About” (depending on settings) | Block and report only | After a video call or first date | |
| Text or phone call | Your number | Block via your phone | Arranging a date |
| Your email address, and sometimes your full name | Very limited | Rarely needed; be cautious | |
| Social media | Potentially family, friends, home area, routines and photos | Varies | Only once you know each other well |
Privacy settings to change first
Before you share your number, take five minutes to check your WhatsApp settings. In WhatsApp, go to Settings > Privacy. The exact layout differs slightly between iPhone and Android, but the options are similar.
- Last seen and online: choose “My contacts” or “Nobody”, so strangers can’t see when you’re using WhatsApp.
- Profile photo: choose “My contacts”, so only people you’ve saved can see it. Consider using a photo that isn’t on your dating profile.
- About: choose “My contacts”, or keep it general.
- Groups: choose “My contacts” so strangers can’t add you to groups.
- Read receipts: turn off if you don’t want people to see when you’ve read their messages.
- Calls > Silence unknown callers: turn on, so calls from numbers not in your contacts don’t ring.
- Privacy checkup: WhatsApp’s built-in checkup walks you through the main settings in one place.
Safer alternatives
You don’t have to move to WhatsApp at all before you meet. Alternatives include:
- Keep chatting on the app until you meet. There’s nothing wrong with that.
- Use in-app voice or video calls, where the app offers them. Your number stays private.
- A second number. Some people use a basic pay-as-you-go SIM or a spare phone for dating, so their main number stays private.
- Share your number only after meeting, once you’re confident about someone.
Red flags to watch for
Be cautious if someone:
- asks to move to WhatsApp in their first few messages
- says they’re “hardly ever on the app”, “about to delete it” or “my subscription is running out”
- pushes again after you’ve said you’d rather wait
- won’t video call but wants your number
- says they work overseas, in the military or travel constantly
- asks for your email address rather than your number, with a reason why they can’t use the app
- sends you a WhatsApp number from another country
These are common patterns in romance scams. See how to spot a romance scam on WhatsApp.
How to say “not yet” politely
You don’t need to explain yourself at length. Try:
- “I’d like to keep chatting on here until we’ve had a video call. Hope that’s OK!”
- “I’m enjoying our chats. Shall we do a quick video call first, and swap numbers after?”
- “I usually keep things on the app until I meet someone, just to be safe.”
- “I’d love to carry on talking. Can we use the video call on here this week?”
Anyone genuine will understand. Anyone who gets annoyed, sulks, or keeps pressuring you has told you something useful.
What about email and social media?
Some matches suggest moving to email, or ask to add you on Facebook or Instagram.
- Email is sometimes suggested by scammers who want to avoid dating app monitoring. Be particularly cautious if someone asks for your email early, especially with a reason why they can’t use the app.
- Social media can reveal a great deal: your family, friends, home area, holidays and routines. It’s wise not to connect until you’ve met and feel comfortable. You can also check your own privacy settings, so strangers can’t see your posts or friends list.
- Looking them up is reasonable. If someone gives you their full name, a quick search can help confirm they’re genuine. A complete absence of any online presence isn’t proof of anything, but combined with other red flags it’s worth noting.
Once you’ve moved to WhatsApp
- Keep the same caution you would on the app.
- Never send money, gift cards or crypto to someone you haven’t met, whatever the reason.
- Don’t share sensitive information, such as your home address, bank details or copies of documents.
- Be wary of links and attachments from someone you don’t know well.
- Aim to meet in person reasonably soon. See how long to message before meeting.
- Keep a record. If things go wrong, screenshots of conversations can help your bank or the police.
If a WhatsApp conversation worries you
- Stop replying while you think.
- Talk to someone you trust about what’s been said.
- Block and report the contact in WhatsApp: open the chat, tap their name, and choose Block or Report.
- Report their dating profile to the service where you met.
- If money is involved, call your bank straight away. Dial 159 to reach many UK banks’ fraud teams, and report it to Report Fraud on 0300 123 2040 (England, Wales and Northern Ireland) or Police Scotland on 101.
Moving off the app with someone you’ve met
If you’ve already met in person and got on well, swapping numbers is natural and makes arranging future dates easier. Even then, it’s worth checking your privacy settings, and not connecting on social media until you know each other better.
Step by step: moving to WhatsApp safely
When you’re ready to move off the app, this sequence keeps you in control.
- Have a video call on the app first, if it offers one, so you know they’re genuine.
- Check your WhatsApp privacy settings (see above) before you share anything.
- Decide whether to give your number or ask for theirs. Asking for theirs first lets you check the number (is it a UK number?) before sharing yours.
- Save them in your contacts with a note, such as “Paul (from Match)”, so you remember where you met.
- Send a short first message so they know it’s you.
- Keep chatting on the app too for a while, if you like, until you’ve met.
- Arrange your first date within a week or two, and confirm the details by message.
When they send their number first
Some people put their number in their first message, or in their profile. This isn’t always a scam, but it’s worth being careful:
- Many dating services don’t allow contact details in profiles, precisely because scammers use them.
- A number from another country, when they say they live in the UK, is a red flag.
- There’s no obligation to use it. You can reply on the app: “Thanks! I’d rather chat on here for a bit first.”
WhatsApp etiquette when dating
Once you’ve moved to WhatsApp, a few unwritten rules can prevent misunderstandings.
- Reply times vary. People check messages at different times. Don’t read too much into a slow reply, especially early on.
- Blue ticks can cause anxiety. If you’d rather not feel pressure to reply immediately, you can turn off read receipts in your privacy settings.
- Voice notes are common, and many people like them, but not everyone. It’s fine to say you prefer messages.
- Late-night messages can feel intrusive early on. It’s reasonable to mute a chat overnight.
- Keep photos appropriate. Everyday photos from your week are nice. Anything intimate is best avoided, especially before you’ve met.
- Don’t add them to family or friends’ group chats until you’re well established.
Never share intimate images with someone you haven’t met
Sadly, some scammers encourage people to share intimate photos or videos, then threaten to send them to friends and family unless money is paid. This is called sextortion. It can happen to anyone, at any age. The safest approach is never to share intimate images with someone you haven’t met and got to know well. If it has happened to you, don’t pay, stop contact, keep evidence, and report it to the police. It’s not your fault.
If you meet and it doesn’t work out
If you’ve swapped numbers and the first date doesn’t lead anywhere, it’s kind to send a short message rather than simply ignoring them:
“Thank you for meeting me today. I enjoyed chatting, but I didn’t feel quite the spark I’m looking for. I wish you all the best.”
If they keep messaging after you’ve said no, you can mute or block them. You don’t owe anyone continued contact.
How scammers script the move
Romance scammers move people off dating apps early because it helps them avoid detection. The move is often scripted, for example (written by us to illustrate):
- “I’m not on here much, my subscription ends tomorrow. Let’s talk on WhatsApp so we don’t lose each other.”
- “This app keeps glitching. Email me instead, it’s easier.”
- “I’m working offshore and the app doesn’t work here, but WhatsApp does.”
The message usually comes early, often within the first day or two, and sometimes before any real conversation. A reason why the app “won’t work” is a common feature. If you notice this pattern, slow down and read our guide to romance scam messages and scripts.
Worried about a parent or friend?
If someone close to you has started chatting to a match on WhatsApp and you’re concerned, it can be difficult to raise without causing offence. Some approaches that tend to help:
- Ask with interest, not judgement. “How did you meet? What’s he like?” invites them to share.
- Ask about video calls and meeting. If they haven’t done either after weeks of chatting, gently point out that this is a common warning sign.
- Share information, not accusations. Sending a guide like this one can be less confrontational than saying “I think he’s a scammer.”
- Ask directly about money. “Has he ever asked you for money or to invest in anything?” A “yes” is a strong sign of a scam.
- Stay close. Scammers often try to isolate victims from family. Keeping the conversation open matters more than winning the argument.
If money has been sent, encourage them to call their bank straight away and report it. People who have been scammed often feel embarrassed. Reassure them that it isn’t their fault.
Frequently asked questions
Is it rude to refuse to move to WhatsApp?
No. It’s a sensible safety step, and most people understand. A kind explanation is enough.
What if they won’t use the app’s video call?
Be cautious. A genuine person can usually find a way to video call within a week or two.
Can someone find my address from my phone number?
Not usually from the number alone, but it can be linked to other information online. That’s why it’s worth being careful who you share it with.
Should I use a second phone number for dating?
Some people find a basic pay-as-you-go SIM helpful, especially if they’re chatting to several people. It’s a personal choice.
What if I’ve already shared my number and feel uneasy?
Block the contact in WhatsApp, report their dating profile, and tighten your privacy settings. If money has been requested or sent, call your bank.
How long should I wait after moving to WhatsApp before meeting?
There’s no need to wait long. If you’ve already had a video call and you’re chatting on WhatsApp, a first date within a week or two is natural. If weeks pass and they keep avoiding meeting, treat it as a warning sign rather than a reason to keep chatting.
Not sure about someone?
Our free Romance Scam Red-Flag Checker lets you tick the warning signs that apply to someone you’ve met online and explains what they can mean and what to do next. Nothing you tick is saved.