Can You Date Before Your Divorce Is Final? (UK Guide)

You’ve separated, the divorce is under way, and you’ve started to wonder whether it’s all right to meet someone new. Perhaps friends are encouraging you to get back out there, or you’ve already met someone and aren’t sure what that means legally. It’s a question that comes up again and again among people in their forties, fifties and sixties who are going through a divorce.

The short answer is that in the UK, dating while your divorce is going through isn’t against the law. But you’re still legally married until the final order (or decree in Scotland) is granted, and a new relationship can have practical, financial and emotional consequences. This guide explains the rules in England and Wales and in Scotland, how dating might affect your financial settlement and children’s arrangements, and how to decide whether you’re ready.

This guide gives general information, not legal advice. Every divorce is different, so talk to a family law solicitor about your own situation, especially if money, property or children are involved.

The short answer

Dating before your divorce is final isn't illegal in the UK, but you remain legally married until the final order (England and Wales) or decree (Scotland).
In England and Wales, the no-fault divorce process takes a minimum of about six months from application to final order.
A new relationship rarely changes who gets what directly, but living with a new partner can affect maintenance and housing needs in a financial settlement.
In financial disclosure, you may be asked whether you plan to live with someone or remarry. Answer honestly.
Children often need time to adjust. Introducing a new partner too soon can cause problems in child arrangements.
Emotionally, many people find it wiser to wait until the dust has settled, but there's no single right answer.

Is it legal to date before your divorce is final?

Yes. There’s no law in any part of the UK that stops you dating while you’re separated or while divorce proceedings are going on. You can go on dates, join dating apps and start a new relationship.

What you can’t do is marry or enter a civil partnership with someone else until your divorce is legally complete. Doing so would be bigamy.

The more important questions are practical ones: how a new relationship might affect the divorce process, your finances and your children, and whether you’re emotionally ready.

How divorce works in England and Wales

Since April 2022, divorce in England and Wales has been “no fault”. Either spouse (or both jointly) can apply, simply by stating that the marriage has broken down irretrievably. There’s no need to blame anyone, and a divorce can’t normally be contested except in narrow circumstances such as a dispute over jurisdiction.

The process has three main stages:

Application. One or both of you apply online or by post.
Conditional order. You can apply for this once at least 20 weeks have passed since the application was issued. This period is designed to give couples time to reflect and to agree arrangements for money and children.
Final order. You can apply for this at least 43 days (six weeks and one day) after the conditional order. Once granted, you’re legally divorced.

So the minimum timeline is around six months, although many divorces take longer, especially if the financial settlement takes time to agree. Many solicitors advise waiting until a financial order is in place before applying for the final order, because becoming divorced can affect things like pension and inheritance rights if one of you were to die before finances are sorted.

Is adultery still relevant?

Under the old system, adultery was one of the “facts” you could rely on to prove a marriage had broken down. Under no-fault divorce, it no longer matters for the divorce itself. Starting a relationship during the process doesn’t change the grounds for divorce.

How divorce works in Scotland

Scotland has its own divorce law. You can divorce if the marriage has broken down irretrievably, which is usually shown by:

one year’s separation, if both spouses agree to the divorce;
two years’ separation, if one spouse doesn’t agree;
adultery; or
behaviour that means you can’t reasonably be expected to live together.

Most divorces in Scotland are based on separation. There’s a simplified “do-it-yourself” procedure for some couples with no children under 16 and no financial claims outstanding.

One important difference is that in Scotland, the matrimonial property to be divided is generally valued at the “relevant date”, which is usually the date you separated. Rules in Northern Ireland are different again, so take local advice if you live there.

Can dating affect your divorce?

For the divorce itself, usually not. In England and Wales, a new relationship won’t stop or delay a no-fault divorce. In Scotland, if the divorce is based on separation, a new relationship doesn’t usually affect the timeline.

But dating can affect other parts of the process, and it’s worth thinking about each of them.

Your ex-partner’s reaction

Even if the marriage is clearly over, finding out that you’re seeing someone new can provoke strong feelings in your ex. That can make negotiations about money and children harder, slower and more expensive. Many solicitors advise discretion while things are being agreed. That doesn’t mean lying. It means not flaunting a new relationship, not posting about it on social media, and thinking about timing.

Your financial settlement

In England and Wales, the court looks at a long list of factors when deciding how to divide money and property, including each person’s needs, income, resources and contributions. Conduct is only taken into account in rare, extreme cases, and a new relationship by itself doesn’t count as bad conduct.

However, a new relationship can become relevant in some ways:

Living together. If you’re living with a new partner, or plan to, the court may take into account that your housing needs and living costs could be shared. This can be relevant to how much capital or maintenance you need.
Spousal maintenance. In England and Wales, spousal maintenance ordered by the court usually ends automatically if the person receiving it remarries. Living with a new partner doesn’t end it automatically, but it can be grounds for the paying spouse to ask the court to vary it.
Financial disclosure. In financial proceedings in England and Wales, each person usually completes a detailed financial statement (Form E). It includes a question about whether you intend to live with someone or remarry. You must answer honestly.
Your new partner’s finances. Your new partner’s money isn’t usually divided in your divorce. But if you’re living with them, the court may look at what they contribute to your household.

In Scotland, the rules on financial provision are different, and cohabitation after separation may still be relevant to some claims, such as periodical allowance. Take advice from a Scottish solicitor.

Children and child arrangements

If you have children under 18, a new relationship during the divorce can affect how they cope and, sometimes, the arrangements for where they live and how much time they spend with each parent.

Courts in the UK make decisions about children based on the child’s welfare. Dating in itself isn’t a problem. But the court may be concerned if:

a new partner is introduced very quickly, before children have adjusted to the separation;
children are exposed to conflict between you, your ex and a new partner;
there are concerns about a new partner’s behaviour or background; or
a new relationship leads to a move that affects school, friendships or contact with the other parent.

Many family professionals suggest waiting until a new relationship is stable, often several months, before introducing it to children, and keeping early meetings short and relaxed. Even adult children can find it hard to see a parent dating before the divorce is complete. Our guide to when adult children disapprove of your new partner covers this in more depth.

Mediation and negotiations

If you’re in mediation or negotiating through solicitors, it’s usually best not to bring a new partner into those discussions. Mediation works best when both people feel it’s a safe space to focus on practical issues. A new partner attending meetings or getting involved in negotiations can raise the temperature.

Should you tell your ex you’re dating?

There’s no legal requirement to tell your ex that you’re dating, except where it becomes relevant to financial disclosure or child arrangements. But there are good reasons to think carefully about how and when they find out.

If you’re living with someone, or plan to, this may need to be disclosed in financial proceedings.
If your new partner will be spending time with your children, it’s usually better for your ex to hear about it from you than from the children.
If you share friends or live in a small community, your ex may find out anyway. Hearing it from you, calmly, can avoid a worse reaction later.

A simple, factual message is often enough: “I wanted you to know that I’ve started seeing someone. It’s early days and I won’t introduce them to the children until it’s more settled.”

Are you emotionally ready?

The law is only part of the picture. The more important question for many people is whether they’re ready.

Divorce, especially after a long marriage, involves a lot of loss: the relationship, shared plans, sometimes a home, and often a sense of identity. People describe feeling a mixture of relief, grief, anger, guilt and excitement, sometimes all in one week.

Some people start dating soon after separating and find it helps them rebuild confidence. Others find that dating too early brings up feelings they haven’t dealt with, or leads to rebound relationships that end painfully.

Signs you may be ready:

You can talk about your ex without becoming very upset or angry.
You’re curious about meeting new people, rather than desperate to fill a gap.
You have time and energy for a new relationship, alongside the divorce.
You’re clear that you’re dating for yourself, not to make your ex jealous or prove a point.
You’re comfortable being honest with new partners about your situation.

Signs you may want to wait:

You’re still hoping you and your ex might get back together.
You spend most dates talking about your ex or the divorce.
You’re using dating to avoid being alone with difficult feelings.
The divorce negotiations are at a sensitive stage and you’re worried about the reaction.
Your children are struggling and need more of your attention.

Our guide on how to know you’re ready to date again after 50 has more on this.

Telling a new partner you’re not yet divorced

If you start dating before your divorce is final, it’s fair and sensible to be honest with the people you meet. Many people over 50 are understanding, particularly if they’ve been through a divorce themselves. But some will prefer to wait until you’re legally divorced before getting involved.

Mention it early. You don’t need to lead with it on a dating profile, but raise it by the first or second date.
Be factual. “I separated last year and the divorce is going through. We’re sorting out the finances now.”
Don’t overshare. A first date isn’t the place for the full story of your marriage or the details of the settlement.
Be clear about what you’re looking for. Some people who are mid-divorce want something light for now. Say so if that’s the case.

What to say on a dating profile

Many dating apps ask for your relationship status. It’s usually best to choose “separated” or the closest equivalent, rather than “single” or “divorced”, while the divorce is going through. It sets honest expectations and filters out people who would prefer to wait. Our guide to writing a dating profile after 50 has more tips.

Practical tips if you decide to date during the divorce

Talk to your solicitor. A quick conversation about whether dating could affect your case is well worth having.
Keep it off social media. Posts and photos can be misunderstood and can inflame negotiations.
Be careful about moving in together. Living with a new partner before your finances are settled can affect your settlement and makes things more complicated.
Keep your finances separate. Don’t combine money or buy property with a new partner until your divorce and financial order are complete.
Update your will. In England and Wales, divorce doesn’t cancel a will, but it treats your ex as if they had died for the purposes of the will once the final order is granted. Until then, your spouse may still inherit. Review your will and any pension nominations during the process.
Protect your children’s routine. Keep new partners separate from family life until the relationship is stable.
Look after yourself. Divorce is exhausting. Make sure dating adds to your life rather than draining it.

Dating someone who isn’t yet divorced

If you’re the one dating someone whose divorce hasn’t been finalised, it’s worth going in with your eyes open.

Ask where they are in the process, and whether there are disputes over money or children.
Be prepared for their ex to be upset, and for some of that to spill over onto you.
Don’t get involved in their negotiations or give them legal advice.
Be aware that some people who say they’re “separated” are still living with their spouse or haven’t started proceedings. Our guide on how to spot a married man on a dating app covers the warning signs.
Think about whether you’re happy to wait if things take longer than expected.

A quick guide: where you are in the process, and what to think about

Stage	Legally	What to think about if you’re dating
Separated, no application yet	Still married	Be honest with new partners. Think about how and when to start proceedings.
Application made (England and Wales)	Still married	Keep dating discreet. Take advice before moving in with anyone.
Conditional order granted	Still married	Financial negotiations are often at their most sensitive now.
Final order granted	Divorced	You’re free to remarry. Check your financial order is in place and your will is updated.

The bottom line

It’s not illegal to date before your divorce is final anywhere in the UK, and many people do. But you remain legally married until the final order or decree, and a new relationship can affect negotiations, your financial settlement and your children’s arrangements, particularly if you move in with someone. Take advice from a family law solicitor, be discreet and honest, keep finances separate, and think carefully about whether you’re emotionally ready.

Frequently asked questions

Can I be accused of adultery if I date during my divorce?

In England and Wales, no-fault divorce means adultery is no longer used as a reason for divorce, so dating doesn’t affect the grounds. In Scotland, adultery can still be a ground, but most divorces are based on separation. Talk to a solicitor if you’re concerned.

Will my ex get less money if I’m dating?

Dating on its own rarely affects a financial settlement. Living with a new partner can be relevant, particularly to housing needs and maintenance, so take advice before moving in with anyone.

Does living with a new partner stop spousal maintenance?

In England and Wales, court-ordered spousal maintenance usually ends automatically if the person receiving it remarries. Living with a new partner doesn’t end it automatically, but the paying spouse may apply to the court to vary or end it.

How long should I wait after separating before dating?

There’s no rule. Some people start within months, others wait years. Think about your emotional readiness, your children and where you are in the legal process.

Should I tell my dates that I’m not divorced yet?

Yes. Be honest early, ideally by the first or second date. Many people are understanding, and it avoids problems later.

Can I marry my new partner before the final order?

No. You can’t marry or enter a civil partnership until your divorce is legally complete.

Related guides

Sources

GOV.UK, “Get a divorce”: the no-fault process, conditional order and final order in England and Wales.
Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020 (in force 6 April 2022).
Scottish Courts and Tribunals Service and Scottish Government guidance on divorce in Scotland.
Family Procedure Rules, Form E financial statement.
Wills Act 1837, section 18A (effect of divorce on a will).