How to make friends after 50 (and why it helps your dating life too)

Making friends as an adult is harder than it was at school, and it often gets harder again in your fifties and sixties. Work friendships fade after retirement. Couple friends drift after a divorce. Friends move away to be near grandchildren, or become ill, or die. If you’ve been caring for someone, your social life may have shrunk without you noticing. And if your partner was the one who kept your diary full, you may suddenly find the weekends very quiet.

This guide covers how friendships work after 50, why they’re worth investing in whether or not you’re dating, and the practical ways people in the UK make new friends at this age. That includes where to go, what to say, how to turn acquaintances into friends, and what to do if you’re struggling with loneliness.

General information, not medical or psychological advice

This guide explains how things generally work in the UK so you know what to ask. It is not advice about your situation, and Hearts Again is not a law firm, financial adviser or healthcare provider. Rules differ between England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland and can change. Before you make any decision, speak to a qualified professional:

your GP, a counsellor registered with the BACP, or Samaritans on 116 123 if you are struggling

The short answer

Feeling short of friends after 50 is common, and it isn't a personal failing. Retirement, divorce, bereavement, moving and caring all shrink social circles.
In England, 5% of adults aged 50 to 64, 4% of those aged 65 to 74 and 5% of those aged 75 and over say they feel lonely often or always (Community Life Survey 2024/25).
Friendships grow through repeated, low-pressure contact. Regular groups such as u3a, Men's Sheds, choirs, walking groups, parkrun and volunteering work better than one-off events.
It takes many hours together to turn an acquaintance into a friend. Expect it to take months, not weeks.
The most useful habit is following up: suggesting a coffee after the class, or swapping numbers after the walk.
Strong friendships make dating easier and safer, and they protect your wellbeing whatever happens in a relationship.
If loneliness is affecting your health, the Age UK Advice Line (0800 678 1602) and The Silver Line (0800 4 70 80 90) can help, and your GP can tell you about local support.

Why friendships get harder after 50

It helps to understand why your social circle may have shrunk. Then it doesn’t feel like something you’ve done wrong.

Life transitions

The big transitions of midlife and later life often break friendship networks:

Retirement or redundancy. Work provides daily contact without any effort. When it ends, many of those friendships turn out to have depended on it.
Divorce or separation. Couple friends may take sides, feel awkward or simply drift. Some of your social life may have been organised by your ex.
Bereavement. Losing a partner can mean losing the friends you saw as a couple, and their invitations may stop.
Children leaving home. The school-gate and sports-club friendships of parenting years often fade once children grow up.
Moving. Downsizing, moving nearer family or retiring to the coast means starting again in a new place.
Caring. Looking after a partner or parent can leave little time or energy for friends, and it can be hard to restart afterwards.
Health changes. Hearing loss, mobility problems or not driving at night can make socialising harder. Our guide to accessible dating has practical ideas that apply to friendships too.

Friendships need time, and adults have less of it

Friendships grow from repeated contact over time. At school or work, that happens automatically. As an adult, you have to create it on purpose, by going to the same group every week, following up, and suggesting things. It feels less natural, but it works.

Men and women often experience it differently

Many men say they relied on a wife or partner to manage their social life, and on work for friendship. After divorce, bereavement or retirement, they can find themselves with very few close friends. Women more often have friendship networks of their own, but they may find those networks are made up of couples, or that friends are busy with grandchildren. Neither is universal, but it’s worth noticing which pattern fits you.

How common is loneliness?

Loneliness isn’t the same as being alone. Plenty of people live alone happily, and some people feel lonely in a marriage. It describes the gap between the connection you have and the connection you want.

The government’s Community Life Survey asked adults in England how often they felt lonely between October 2024 and March 2025. It found:

Age group	Feel lonely often or always
All adults	7%
50 to 64	5%
65 to 74	4%
75 and over	5%

So older adults are, on average, slightly less likely than younger people to feel lonely often. But 5% of a large age group is still a lot of people, and many more feel lonely some of the time, especially after a major change.

Why friendships matter, even if you’re looking for a partner

If you’re reading this on a dating site, you may be wondering why we’re talking about friends. There are several good reasons:

Friends make dating easier. People with a full life are less likely to rush into a relationship out of loneliness, and they tend to be more relaxed and attractive on dates.
Friends make dating safer. Someone to tell where you’re going, to sense-check a match and to tell you honestly when something seems off is one of the best protections against romance scams.
Friends widen your circle. Many later-life couples meet through friends, or at an activity a friend dragged them along to.
Friends outlast relationships. Whatever happens with dating, friendships are a source of wellbeing in their own right.
Some people want friendship, not romance. That’s a perfectly good goal. Our guide to being happy single and still wanting a relationship explores the in-between.

Where people over 50 make friends in the UK

The best places share three features. They meet regularly. There’s a shared activity, so you don’t have to make conversation from nothing. And there’s a natural chance to chat, before, after or during. Here are the main options.

u3a

The u3a (originally the University of the Third Age) is one of the best-known routes for people who are retired or semi-retired. There are more than 1,000 local u3as across the UK, with around 400,000 members. Each one is a member-led charity running interest groups chosen by members. These cover languages, history, walking, book clubs, bridge, photography, gardening, music and much more.

There are no exams, membership is low-cost, and groups often meet in members’ homes or local halls. The small-group format makes it easier to get to know people than a big lecture. Most u3as are open to anyone not in full-time work. Find your nearest through the u3a website.

Men’s Sheds

Men’s Sheds are community spaces where people work on practical projects, such as woodwork, repairs, gardening and restoring things, and talk while they do it. There are around 1,100 sheds across the UK, according to the UK Men’s Sheds Association. Most are in England, with around 200 in Scotland and about 100 each in Wales and Northern Ireland.

The “shoulder to shoulder” format suits many men who wouldn’t go to a social group just to chat. Many sheds also welcome women. Membership is usually modest, and you can normally visit before you join. Use the Find-a-Shed tool on the association’s website.

Walking groups and parkrun

Walking side by side makes conversation easy. Options include:

Ramblers groups, which run led walks of different lengths all over Britain.
Health walks, which are shorter and gentler, often run by councils or charities such as Ramblers Wellbeing Walks or Paths for All in Scotland.
parkrun, the free, weekly, timed 5k event in parks across the UK. You can walk it, run it or volunteer. Volunteering is a particularly good way to meet regulars, and many groups go for coffee afterwards.
Walking football and walking netball, which are increasingly popular with over-50s.

Choirs and music

Community choirs are famously sociable, and many don’t require you to read music or audition. There are choirs for every taste: pop, rock, gospel, folk, classical and LGBT+ choirs. Some are specifically for older people or for people living with health conditions. Orchestras, ukulele groups and folk sessions work the same way.

Volunteering

Volunteering gives you purpose, structure and colleagues. Options include charity shops, food banks, hospitals, museums, heritage railways, conservation projects, befriending schemes, school reading volunteers, parkrun, and citizen science projects. Your local volunteer centre or council volunteering service can help you find something that fits.

The best volunteer roles for making friends involve working alongside the same people regularly, rather than solo tasks.

Classes and courses

Adult education classes in languages, art, cooking, dancing, pottery and IT bring together people with a shared interest. Many colleges and councils run them. Dance classes such as ballroom, Latin, salsa, ceilidh and line dancing are especially sociable, and many people go without a partner.

Sports and fitness

Bowls, golf, tennis, swimming clubs, cycling clubs, pickleball, table tennis and gym classes all have strong over-50 memberships. Many clubs have social events alongside the sport.

Faith communities

Churches, mosques, synagogues, gurdwaras and temples often run social groups, lunch clubs, volunteering projects and study groups. For people of faith, these can be the heart of social life. See our guide to Christian dating after 50.

Groups for particular situations

After bereavement: Cruse Bereavement Support, Cruse Scotland, and local widows’ and widowers’ social groups.
After divorce: local divorce support groups, and online communities.
LGBTQ+ people over 50: Opening Doors and local LGBT+ groups. See our guide to gay dating after 50.
Carers and former carers: Carers UK and local carers’ centres.
People new to an area: local Facebook groups, Nextdoor, and clubs such as Rotary, the Women’s Institute, Townswomen’s Guilds and Probus.

Online groups and apps

Online communities, Meetup and friendship apps can help you find people with shared interests nearby, especially if you’re new to an area. They work best as a way to find in-person activities, rather than a replacement for them.

How to turn acquaintances into friends

Joining a group is the easy part. The skill is turning the people you chat to into friends. A few things help.

Keep going back

Sociologists who study friendship often point to repeated, unplanned contact as one of the conditions friendships need. In practice, that means turning up to the same group, week after week. Most people need several sessions before they feel part of a group. Give anything new at least three or four visits before deciding.

Arrive early and stay late

The chat before and after an activity is where friendships start. Arrive ten minutes early, stay for the tea, and walk out with someone.

Make the follow-up suggestion

This is the single most useful habit, and the one most people avoid. When you’ve chatted with someone a few times, suggest something small and specific:

“A few of us are going for a coffee after. Would you like to come?”
“I’m going to that exhibition next week. Would you like to come along?”
“Shall we swap numbers so I can let you know when the next walk is?”

Most people are delighted to be asked, and many are waiting for someone else to suggest it.

Be the organiser sometimes

Organising a small thing, such as a pub lunch after the walk or a trip to the theatre, makes you a natural hub. It doesn’t need to be elaborate.

Share a little more each time

Friendships deepen through gradually sharing more about your life. You don’t need to tell your life story on day one. But letting people know a bit about you, including the harder things when it feels right, invites them to do the same.

Accept that some won’t work out

Not everyone you meet will become a friend, and that’s normal. Some groups won’t suit you, and some people won’t click. Treat it as part of the process.

Friendships with the opposite sex, and with people you might date

Many people over 50 are happy to have friends of any sex, and friendship sometimes turns into something more. A few practical points:

Be clear about your intentions. If you’re at a social group, it’s fine to be open to romance. But it’s kinder not to treat every activity as a dating event.
Friendship first works for many people. Relationships that grow out of friendship often feel safer and more natural for those who find apps hard.
If you’re dating, keep your friends. It’s easy to drop friends when a new relationship starts. Try not to. Our guide to dating when you love your independence explains why.

If you’re struggling with loneliness

Sometimes loneliness becomes more than a passing feeling. It can affect sleep, mood, appetite, motivation and health. If that’s happening to you:

Age UK Advice Line: 0800 678 1602, open 8am to 7pm every day of the year. It can tell you about local services, including befriending.
The Silver Line: 0800 4 70 80 90, a free 24-hour helpline for older people, run with Age UK.
Age UK’s Telephone Friendship Service matches you with a volunteer for a regular call.
Age Scotland Helpline: 0800 12 44 222.
Your GP can tell you about local support. Many practices have social prescribing link workers who connect patients with community groups and activities.
Samaritans: 116 123, free and open 24 hours, if you’re struggling to cope.

The Campaign to End Loneliness and the Marmalade Trust also publish information about loneliness and local support.

Clubs and groups for single over-50s

Some groups are set up specifically for single people over 50, while many more general clubs naturally attract people who are single, widowed or divorced. Options include:

Social clubs for singles, which organise meals, outings, walks and events. Some are run by volunteers, others by companies that charge a membership fee
Walking and rambling groups, which are sociable, free or low-cost, and easy to join
Dance classes, such as ballroom, Latin, ceroc or line dancing, many of which don’t require a partner
u3a groups, covering hundreds of interests for people no longer in full-time work
Book clubs, choirs and quiz teams
Bereavement and widowed people’s groups, which often include social events

When choosing a paid singles club, check what’s included, how many events are run near you, the typical age range, and how easy it is to cancel. Our guide to singles holidays covers organised travel for people on their own.

Making friends after moving to a new town

Moving later in life, perhaps to be nearer family, to downsize or to retire somewhere new, can leave you starting again socially. It can help to:

Say yes early. Accept invitations from neighbours and join something within your first few weeks
Find your local hubs, such as the library, community centre, place of worship or u3a group, which often list local activities
Volunteer. It’s one of the quickest ways to meet people and feel part of a place
Become a regular, at a café, class or club, so faces become familiar
Keep in touch with old friends, so you have support while new friendships grow
Be patient. Building a new social life can take a year or more

If you’ve moved to be closer to children or grandchildren, try to build some friendships of your own too, so your social life doesn’t depend entirely on family.

A practical plan for the next three months

If you’d like to build your social circle, this is a realistic plan:

Week 1: choose two regular activities. One based on an interest (u3a, a choir, a class) and one based on movement or volunteering (a walking group, parkrun, a volunteer role).
Weeks 2 to 5: go every week. Arrive early, stay for tea, and learn some names.
Weeks 4 to 8: make one follow-up suggestion each week. A coffee, a walk or a trip.
Weeks 6 to 10: get back in touch with two old friends. A text or call to someone you’ve lost touch with is often warmly received.
Weeks 8 to 12: organise one small thing. A lunch, a trip or a games night.
Week 12: review. Keep what’s working, drop what isn’t, and try one new activity.

Frequently asked questions

Is it normal to have no friends at 50 or 60?

It’s more common than people admit, especially after divorce, bereavement, retirement or moving. It isn’t a personal failing, and it can change.

What’s the best way to make friends after retirement?

Regular activities with a shared focus, such as u3a groups, Men’s Sheds, choirs, walking groups, parkrun and volunteering, work well. The key is to keep going back and to follow up with people you like.

How long does it take to make a new friend?

Usually months rather than weeks. Friendships grow from many hours spent together, so regular contact matters more than one long conversation.

I’m shy. How do I make friends?

Choose activities where there’s something to do, so you don’t have to make conversation from nothing: walking, volunteering, crafts or a shed. Smaller groups are often easier than big events. Our guide to where introverts can meet someone has more ideas.

How do I make friends after my partner died?

Bereavement groups, local widows’ and widowers’ groups and Cruse can help, and many people find activity-based groups easier when they’re ready. Our guide to dating after bereavement covers how loneliness and readiness overlap.

Should I make friends before I start dating?

It helps, but you don’t have to choose. Building friendships alongside dating reduces the pressure on dates and makes it easier to spot someone who isn’t right for you.

Are friendship apps worth trying?

They can help you find people with shared interests nearby, particularly if you’ve moved. Treat them as a way to find in-person activities, and use the same safety habits you’d use on dating apps.

Related guides

Sources

Department for Culture, Media and Sport, Community Life Survey 2024/25: loneliness and support networks.
u3a and Wikipedia, University of the Third Age (membership figures as of March 2025).
UK Men’s Sheds Association, frequently asked questions (shed numbers as of March 2024).
Age UK, loneliness support, Advice Line and Telephone Friendship Service.
Age Scotland Helpline.
Samaritans.
Campaign to End Loneliness and the Marmalade Trust.
Hearts Again editorial research on friendship and later-life dating.