Long-distance relationships between the UK and abroad

ResearchedUpdated 10 October 2026
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Love doesn’t always respect borders. Many people over 50 meet someone who lives abroad: on holiday, through work, through family, online, or on a dating site that shows people in other countries. Some rekindle an old relationship with someone who emigrated years ago. An international relationship can be exciting and deeply rewarding. It can also be one of the hardest kinds of relationship to sustain, and, sadly, it’s one of the most common settings for romance fraud.

This guide is for people over 50 in, or considering, a long-distance relationship between the UK and another country. It covers how to check that someone is genuine, staying connected across time zones, travelling to meet, the cost, and the big questions that come with any serious international relationship: visas, health care, pensions, tax and where you’d live. It doesn’t give legal, immigration or financial advice. These areas are complex, change often and depend on your circumstances, so we point you to official guidance and qualified advisers.

General information, not legal, financial, pensions or legal or financial advice

This guide explains how things generally work in the UK so you know what to ask. It is not advice about your situation, and Hearts Again is not a law firm, financial adviser or healthcare provider. Rules differ between England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland and can change. Before you make any decision, speak to a qualified professional:

The short answer

  • International relationships can work, but they need time, money, honesty and patience.
  • Romance scammers very often pose as people living or working abroad. Video call early and often, and never send money to someone you haven't met in person.
  • Meeting in person, ideally more than once and in both countries, is the best way to know whether the relationship is real and whether you're compatible.
  • Time zones, travel costs and long separations put pressure on any relationship. A regular rhythm of contact and visits helps.
  • If the relationship becomes serious, visas, health care, pensions, tax and property all need careful thought. Use GOV.UK and regulated advisers, not informal advice online.
  • Moving abroad, or bringing a partner to the UK, is a major decision later in life. Many couples spend extended time in each other's country first.

How international relationships start

People over 50 meet partners from abroad in many ways:

  • On holiday, including repeat visits to the same place
  • Through work, including former colleagues
  • Through family and friends, including people who’ve emigrated
  • Online, on international dating sites or apps that show people in other countries
  • Rekindling an old flame, perhaps someone you knew decades ago

Some of these come with a shared history or mutual friends, which makes it easier to know someone is who they say they are. Others start entirely online, which needs more caution.

First: make sure they’re genuine

This is important. Romance fraud often involves someone who claims to be living or working abroad. Common stories include working on an oil rig, serving in the military overseas, working as a doctor for a charity, or being an engineer on a contract. The distance gives them a reason never to meet, and later a reason to need money.

Warning signs include:

  • They contact you first and are very keen very quickly
  • They avoid video calls, or the camera “doesn’t work”
  • They want to move off the dating site to WhatsApp or email quickly
  • Plans to meet keep falling through
  • They ask for money, for travel, visas, customs fees, medical bills, a business problem or an emergency
  • They talk about investments or cryptocurrency
  • Their story has inconsistencies, or their photos seem too polished

Never send money, gift cards or cryptocurrency to someone you haven’t met in person, however genuine they seem. Our guides to military romance scams, romance scam messages, crypto romance scams and how to spot a fake dating profile explain the patterns, and our Scam Red-Flag Checker can help if you’re unsure. If you think you’ve been scammed, our guide on what to do if you’ve been scammed on a dating site explains the steps people commonly take, including contacting your bank.

Staying connected across distance and time zones

Time zones

A partner in Europe may be only an hour or two ahead. A partner in Australia, the Americas or Asia may be many hours different. Couples often find it helps to:

  • Agree a regular time to talk that suits both of you
  • Use messages and voice notes to share moments during your day
  • Be understanding about tiredness and busy times

Regular contact

  • Video calls, which help you feel closer and confirm you’re talking to the same person
  • Shared activities at a distance, such as watching the same film, reading the same book or cooking the same meal
  • Small surprises, such as a card or a parcel
  • Planning the next visit together

Our general guide to long-distance dating after 50 has more ideas.

Meeting in person

Meeting in person is essential. Online chemistry doesn’t always translate face to face, and meeting is the clearest way to know someone is genuine.

The first meeting

If you’ve met online and haven’t met before:

  • Video call several times first
  • Meet somewhere neutral and public, perhaps in a city with good transport
  • Book and pay for your own travel and accommodation
  • Tell family or friends where you’re going, who you’re meeting, and when you’ll be back
  • Keep your passport, money and phone secure
  • Have a plan if things don’t go well, including a way to get home

Our guide to when to travel to meet someone you met online has a detailed checklist.

Travel practicalities

  • Travel insurance. Make sure it covers any pre-existing medical conditions. Travelling without suitable cover can be very expensive if something goes wrong.
  • Health cover in Europe. A UK Global Health Insurance Card (GHIC) can give access to state-provided health care in the EU and some other countries, but it isn’t a replacement for travel insurance.
  • Passports and entry requirements. Check entry rules for the country you’re visiting on GOV.UK’s foreign travel advice pages.
  • Medication. Take enough, and check any rules about bringing it into the country.

Our guide to solo travel after 50 has more on travelling safely on your own.

The cost

International relationships can be expensive. Flights, accommodation, time off work and phone costs all add up. Couples often find it helps to:

  • Budget together, so neither person feels overstretched
  • Plan longer, less frequent visits if flights are expensive
  • Take turns travelling, or agree how you’ll share costs
  • Be cautious if one person always expects the other to pay, especially early on

Our guide to money in later-life relationships covers fair ways to share costs.

Getting to know each other’s world

Visiting each other’s countries, not just meeting on holiday, helps you understand whether you could share a life. It’s worth spending time in each other’s everyday surroundings: home, friends, family, routines and local community. Cultural differences, such as attitudes to family, money, religion or gender roles, may matter more than you expect. Talking openly about them helps.

Language and cultural differences

If you and your partner grew up in different countries, you may have different first languages, customs and expectations. These can be part of what makes the relationship special, but it helps to talk about them openly.

  • Language. Even if you share a language, misunderstandings by message are common. Video calls, where you can hear tone and see expressions, often help.
  • Family expectations. In some cultures, extended family are closely involved in relationships and decisions. In others, couples are more independent.
  • Roles and money. Expectations about who pays, who works and who manages money can differ.
  • Religion and traditions. Holidays, food, faith and family rituals may matter more than you expect once you spend time together.
  • Pace. Some people move quickly towards commitment; others take longer. Neither is wrong, but it’s worth understanding each other.

Being curious, asking questions and visiting each other’s home communities can help you understand these differences before making big decisions.

Keeping yourself safe financially

Even in a genuine relationship, it’s sensible to protect your finances, especially in the early stages:

  • Don’t lend or give large sums, even if the request seems reasonable
  • Don’t share bank details, PINs or passwords, or let anyone access your accounts
  • Be wary of joint investments or business ideas proposed early in a relationship
  • Don’t sign documents you don’t fully understand, particularly in another language
  • Talk to someone you trust, such as a family member or friend, before any big financial decision

A genuine partner will understand and respect your caution.

If the relationship becomes serious

At some point, many international couples ask the big question: where will we live? It’s one of the most significant decisions you can make later in life. Some of the main areas to think about are below. This is a general overview, not advice. Rules change often and depend on your circumstances.

Visas and immigration

If your partner wants to live in the UK, or you want to live in their country, there are usually visa and immigration rules to meet. In the UK, partner and spouse visas have requirements that can include proof of the relationship, financial requirements, English language and accommodation, and these rules have changed in recent years. Other countries have their own rules.

Official guidance is on GOV.UK for the UK, and on the official government website of the other country. Advice on UK immigration should come from a solicitor or an adviser regulated by the Immigration Advice Authority (formerly the Office of the Immigration Services Commissioner). Be very wary of unregulated “visa agents”.

Health care

Health care access depends on where you live and your immigration status. If you move abroad, you may lose access to NHS care, and you may need private health insurance in your new country. If your partner moves to the UK, they may have to pay the immigration health surcharge as part of their visa application. GOV.UK has guidance on health care when moving abroad.

Pensions

Your UK State Pension can usually be paid abroad, but in some countries it isn’t increased each year. Private and workplace pensions have their own rules. GOV.UK has guidance on claiming the State Pension abroad, and MoneyHelper has free guidance on pensions. A regulated financial adviser can explain your options.

Tax

Moving abroad can change where you’re tax resident, which can affect how your income, pensions, savings and property are taxed. HMRC has guidance on tax if you leave the UK, and a tax adviser can explain your position.

Property, wills and inheritance

Owning property in two countries, or moving abroad, can affect your will and how your estate is dealt with. Inheritance rules vary between countries. A solicitor, ideally one familiar with both countries, can advise. Our guides to protecting your children’s inheritance and prenups and second marriages explain the general UK issues.

Family and friends

Moving abroad can mean seeing children, grandchildren and friends much less often. Bringing a partner to the UK means they leave their own family and community. Both can be hard, and it’s worth talking about honestly.

Trying before you decide

Many couples find it helps to spend an extended period in each other’s country before making a permanent decision, within whatever visitor rules apply. That gives you a chance to experience everyday life, weather, health care, cost of living and community, not just holidays. Some couples also choose to keep homes in both countries, or to split their time.

Our guide to living apart together after 50 explores relationships where couples keep separate homes.

When one of you wants to move and the other doesn’t

This is common, and can be painful. If one of you is deeply rooted, perhaps with grandchildren nearby or health needs, and the other is keen to move, it may help to:

  • Talk about what each of you would gain and lose
  • Consider compromises, such as splitting time between countries
  • Avoid pressuring each other
  • Consider talking to a counsellor, such as through Relate, if you’re stuck

Our guide to communication in a new relationship after 50 has tips for difficult conversations.

Common situations

“We met on holiday and want to keep in touch”

That’s lovely. Stay in regular contact, plan a return visit, and see how things develop. Be honest with each other about what you’re both hoping for.

“We’ve only ever spoken online and they live overseas”

Insist on regular video calls, and plan to meet in person before getting too involved. Never send money. If plans to meet keep falling through, that’s a serious warning sign.

“They’ve asked me to help pay for their flight or visa”

This is a common feature of romance scams. Talk to someone you trust before doing anything, and don’t send money to someone you haven’t met in person.

“We want to live together but don’t know which country”

Spend extended time in both, talk to official sources and regulated advisers about visas, health care, pensions and tax, and think honestly about family and friends.

“My children are worried”

Listen to their concerns, especially about safety and money. Introducing them to your partner, even by video, can help.

Questions to ask each other

  • How often will we see each other, and who will travel?
  • How will we share the costs?
  • What are we each hoping for in the long term?
  • Would either of us move? What would we each find hardest?
  • What do we need to find out about visas, health care, pensions and tax?
  • How would we stay close to our families?

Frequently asked questions

Can a long-distance relationship with someone abroad work after 50?

Yes, many do. They need time, money, regular contact and in-person visits, as well as honest conversations about the future.

How do I know if someone abroad is genuine?

Video call regularly, meet in person before getting too involved, and never send money to someone you haven’t met. Be wary of stories involving oil rigs, military service overseas or sudden emergencies.

Should I travel to meet someone I met online abroad?

Only after regular video calls, and with careful planning: your own travel and accommodation, a public meeting place, travel insurance and someone at home who knows your plans.

Can my partner come to live in the UK?

There are visa routes for partners, with requirements that change over time. Check GOV.UK and get advice from a solicitor or regulated immigration adviser.

Will my State Pension be paid if I move abroad?

It can usually be paid abroad, but in some countries it isn’t increased each year. GOV.UK has guidance, and a regulated financial adviser can explain your options.

What happens to my NHS care if I move abroad?

You may lose access to NHS care if you move abroad permanently. GOV.UK has guidance on health care when moving to other countries.

Related guides

Sources

  • GOV.UK guidance on partner visas, foreign travel advice, the Global Health Insurance Card, State Pension abroad and tax when leaving the UK.
  • Immigration Advice Authority (formerly OISC).
  • MoneyHelper, pensions guidance.