What Never to Put in a Dating Profile

A good dating profile can make all the difference to who you meet. A few careless lines or the wrong photos can put off exactly the kind of person you’d like to attract, or even put your safety and privacy at risk. The good news is that most profile mistakes are easy to spot and easy to fix.

This guide covers what never to put in a dating profile after 50: the phrases that put people off, the photos to avoid, the personal information you should keep private, and the common mistakes that make a profile look negative, generic or dishonest. For each one, it explains why it’s a problem and what to do instead.

The short answer

Avoid negativity: lists of what you don't want, complaints about dating apps and comments about exes put people off.
Never share personal information that could identify or locate you, such as your surname, address, workplace or phone number.
Avoid old, blurry, group, sunglasses-only or heavily filtered photos, and photos with ex-partners.
Don't lie about your age, relationship status, height or photos. It undermines trust from the first meeting.
Avoid clichés like "I love to laugh" and "work hard, play hard". Specific details are far more attractive.
Don't mention money, possessions or your financial situation. It can attract the wrong attention, including scammers.

Negativity

Lists of what you don’t want

“No time-wasters. No drama. No liars. No married men. No players.”

It’s understandable. Many people over 50 have had bad experiences. But a list like this makes you seem defensive, and it tells people more about your past than about you. People who are genuine may feel they’re being accused of something before they’ve said hello.

Instead: describe what you do want. “I’m looking for someone kind, honest and ready for a proper relationship.”

Complaints about dating apps

“I can’t believe I’m on here.” “Online dating is soul-destroying.” “Not sure why I’m bothering.”

These suggest you’re reluctant, cynical or not really ready. They also put pressure on the other person to convince you it’s worthwhile.

Instead: be positive or neutral. “New to this, and looking forward to meeting interesting people.”

Comments about your ex

“My ex took everything but the dog.” “Looking for someone nothing like my ex-husband.”

Even as jokes, these suggest you’re still preoccupied with your past relationship.

Instead: leave your ex out altogether. Our guide to what to say on your dating profile after divorce or bereavement has positive alternatives.

Self-deprecation

“I’m not much to look at.” “Probably too old for this.” “I know I’m not anyone’s first choice.”

A little humour about yourself can be charming, but running yourself down is off-putting and can attract people who don’t treat you well.

Instead: be warm and confident about who you are.

Personal information that could put you at risk

Your dating profile can be seen by thousands of people. Never include:

your surname;
your home address, street or postcode;
the name of your workplace, or details specific enough to identify it;
your phone number, email address or social media handles;
your daily routine, such as “I walk my dog in Victoria Park every morning at 7”;
details about your children or grandchildren, such as names, schools or where they live;
financial details, such as your pension, property or savings;
photos that show your house number, street name or car registration.

Scammers and people with bad intentions can use these details to find you or to build a false connection. Our guides to giving your phone number before a first date and dating app scams targeting over-50s explain the risks.

Photos to avoid

Photos are usually the first thing people look at. These are the most common photo mistakes.

Old photos. Photos more than a year or two old can lead to an awkward first meeting and a sense of being misled.
Only sunglasses or hats. People want to see your eyes and face.
Group photos as your main picture. People shouldn’t have to guess which one is you.
Photos with an ex, cropped out. A stray arm or half a face is off-putting.
Photos with your late spouse. It can confuse or upset people, however well meant.
Heavy filters or editing. Smoothing apps and filters make you look less like yourself.
Blurry, dark or distant photos.
Only selfies from below or in the car. They rarely flatter anyone.
Photos of other people’s children, or of your grandchildren where their faces are visible.
Photos with lots of alcohol, which can give the wrong impression.
Shirtless or revealing photos, unless you’re specifically looking for something casual.
Photos showing expensive cars, watches or homes. They can attract scammers and people interested in your money.

Instead: use four to six recent, clear photos, including a smiling close-up, a full-length shot and a few showing your interests. Our guide to dating profile photos after 50 has detailed advice.

Clichés and generic phrases

Some phrases appear on so many profiles that they tell people nothing. Common examples:

“I love to laugh.”
“I enjoy nights in and nights out.”
“Work hard, play hard.”
“Just ask.”
“I’m easy-going.”
“Looking for my partner in crime.”
“I love travelling, eating out and going to the cinema.”
“Not good at writing these things.”

Everyone likes to laugh, and most people enjoy nights in and nights out. These phrases don’t help you stand out.

Instead: be specific. Rather than “I love travelling”, try “My favourite trip was walking the Camino in Spain, and I’d love to do the Portuguese route next.” Rather than “I love to laugh”, mention what makes you laugh. Specific details give people something to talk to you about.

Dishonesty

Small lies can seem harmless, but they undermine trust from the start.

Your age. Knocking off a few years is common and almost always discovered. It starts the relationship with a deception.
Your relationship status. Saying you’re single when you’re separated, or divorced when your divorce isn’t final, can cause real problems later.
Your height or body shape. It will be obvious when you meet.
Old photos presented as current.
Your job or circumstances. Exaggerating your job or wealth to impress people rarely ends well.
What you’re looking for. Saying you want a serious relationship when you want something casual, or the other way round, wastes everyone’s time.

Instead: be honest. The right people will be attracted to the real you.

Money and possessions

Avoid mentioning your income, savings, property, pension or possessions. Phrases such as “financially secure”, “mortgage-free” or “comfortable” can attract people who are more interested in your money than in you, including romance scammers, who specifically look for signs that someone has savings.

Instead: show your lifestyle through your interests, such as travel, hobbies and activities, rather than your finances.

Demands and preferences that sound harsh

It’s fine to know what you want. But how you express it matters.

“Must be over 6ft.” “Must be slim.” “No one over 60.”
“Only reply if you look like your photos.”
“If you can’t hold a conversation, don’t bother.”

These can sound harsh or entitled. Use app filters for practical preferences like age and distance, and use your bio to describe the kind of person you’d enjoy spending time with.

Too much, too soon

Your profile isn’t the place for your life story. Avoid:

long paragraphs about your childhood, career or marriage;
detailed health information, such as diagnoses or medications;
heavy emotional content, such as grief, trauma or loneliness;
political or religious rants, unless these are genuinely central to what you’re looking for.

It’s fine to mention important things briefly, such as being a practising Christian, or wanting a non-smoker. But keep the tone light and leave room for conversation.

Sexual content and innuendo

Unless you’re specifically using a service for casual encounters, avoid sexual comments, innuendo or suggestive photos. They can attract unwanted attention and put off people looking for a relationship or companionship. If intimacy matters to you, it’s usually better discussed once you’ve met and got to know someone.

Spelling, grammar and blank sections

A few typos don’t matter much. But a profile full of errors, written entirely in capitals, or left almost blank can suggest you haven’t put in effort. Read your profile out loud before publishing, or ask a friend to check it. Fill in the key sections, such as your interests and what you’re looking for, even if briefly.

Mistakes in the “About me” basics

The quick-fill sections of a profile, such as height, children, smoking, drinking and what you’re looking for, matter as much as your bio. Common mistakes include:

Leaving them blank. Many people filter by these details, and a blank profile may simply not appear in their searches.
Choosing “prefer not to say” for everything. A little mystery is fine, but too much looks evasive.
Getting “looking for” wrong. If the app asks whether you want a relationship, something casual or aren’t sure, choose honestly. It’s one of the most useful filters for others.
Out-of-date details, such as your location after a move, or your children’s situation.
Mismatched details. If your bio says you love a pint at the pub but your profile says you don’t drink, people will notice.

Mistakes in your first message

Even the best profile can be let down by the first message you send. Avoid:

“Hi” or “Hello” on its own. It’s easy to ignore.
Copy-and-paste messages that could be sent to anyone.
Comments only about appearance, especially physical ones.
Long life stories.
Asking for their number or WhatsApp straight away.
Sexual comments.

Instead: mention something specific from their profile and ask a friendly, open question. Our guide on why people match but never reply has examples.

A before-and-after example

Before:

“Not sure what to write here. I’m 58, divorced, own my own home and car. Love to laugh, enjoy nights in and out. No time-wasters, no drama, no married men. My ex cheated so looking for someone honest. Must be tall and slim. If you’re not serious, don’t message.”

After:

“58, divorced a few years ago and enjoying life. I’m happiest on a long coastal walk followed by fish and chips, and I’m slowly working my way through the National Trust gardens in the South West. I sing in a community choir and I’m a terrible but enthusiastic tennis player. Looking for someone kind, honest and curious, for good conversation, days out and hopefully something lasting.”

The second version keeps the same facts that matter, drops the negativity and personal details, and gives people plenty to talk about.

A profile checklist: things to remove

Before publishing, check your profile doesn’t include:

A list of what you don’t want.
Complaints about dating or apps.
Any mention of your ex, beyond your relationship status.
Your surname, address, workplace or phone number.
Details of your daily routine.
Your income, property, pension or savings.
Photos older than a couple of years.
Photos with sunglasses in every shot, or group photos as your main picture.
Photos with an ex or late spouse, or with a visible wedding ring.
Photos showing your house number, street or car registration.
Clichés that could apply to anyone.
Any untrue detail about your age, status, height or photos.
Sexual content, unless you’re looking for something casual.
Detailed health or emotional information.

What to include instead

A strong profile after 50 usually includes:

four to six recent, clear photos, including a smiling close-up and a full-length shot;
a short bio with specific details about your interests and life;
a hint of your personality and sense of humour;
a clear, positive line about what you’re looking for;
accurate basic details, such as age, relationship status and whether you have children.

Our guides to writing a dating profile after 50 and profile examples for women and men over 50 show what works.

Why these mistakes matter more after 50

Many profile mistakes are common at any age, but some matter particularly later in life.

Scammers target over-50s. Mentioning that you’re widowed, financially secure or living alone, combined with identifying details, can make you a target. Keep financial and location details out of your profile.
Baggage is visible. After divorce or bereavement, it’s easy to let your past show through in negative or heavy language. People are drawn to warmth and optimism.
Out-of-date photos are tempting. Many people prefer photos from a few years ago. But it’s far better to be recognised instantly when you meet.
You have a rich life to draw on. Decades of experience, interests, travel and family give you plenty to write about. Generic phrases waste that advantage.

How to review your profile

Once you’ve written your profile, try these checks:

Read it aloud. Does it sound like you? Would you want to meet this person?
Ask a trusted friend. They’ll notice things you miss, including photos that don’t do you justice.
Imagine a stranger reading it. Could they find your home, your workplace or your family from it?
Look for negatives. Can any “no”, “don’t” or “not” be rewritten positively?
Check it’s current. Are your photos, interests and details up to date?
Look for conversation starters. Is there something specific someone could ask you about?

Review your profile every few months, especially if you’re getting fewer matches or conversations than you’d like.

The bottom line

The most common dating profile mistakes after 50 are negativity, oversharing personal information, poor photos, clichés, dishonesty and mentioning money. They can put off the right people, attract the wrong ones and even put your safety at risk. Replace lists of what you don’t want with what you do want, keep identifying details private, use recent and clear photos, be specific and honest, and focus on who you are now.

Frequently asked questions

What should you not put on a dating profile?

Negativity, lists of dealbreakers, comments about your ex, personal information that could identify you, financial details, old or unclear photos, clichés and anything untrue.

Is it bad to say “no time-wasters” on a dating profile?

It usually comes across as defensive. It’s better to describe what you’re looking for positively.

Should I mention my job on my profile?

In general terms, yes, such as “I work in healthcare”. Avoid naming your employer or giving details that identify your workplace.

Is it OK to lie about my age?

No. It’s almost always discovered and starts the relationship with a deception. Widen your own age filters instead if you want to meet a broader range of people.

Should I mention that I own my home?

It’s best not to. Financial details can attract the wrong attention, including scammers.

How long should my dating profile be?

A few short paragraphs, or three to five sentences, is usually enough. Leave room for conversation.

Related guides

Sources

Discussion threads on Gransnet, Mumsnet and over-40s dating communities about dating profile turn-offs (themes summarised, not quoted).
Report Fraud and UK Finance, guidance on how romance scammers identify targets.
Hearts Again editorial research on dating profiles after 50.