Cancer changes a lot of things, and how you feel about dating can be one of them. You might be single after a relationship ended during or after treatment, widowed, divorced or simply ready to meet someone after a long time on your own. You might be in remission, living with cancer as a long-term condition, or still recovering from the physical and emotional effects of treatment. Whatever your situation, it’s natural to have questions. When should I tell someone? Will they be put off? How do I feel confident about my body again? What if the cancer comes back?
You’re far from alone. Macmillan Cancer Support estimates that around 3.5 million people in the UK were living with cancer in 2025, a figure that includes everyone alive who has ever had a cancer diagnosis. Many of them are dating, forming new relationships and enjoying intimacy again. This guide looks at dating after cancer later in life, including when you might feel ready, what and when to share, body confidence, intimacy, and how partners can offer support. It’s not medical advice. Please talk to your cancer team, GP or a cancer support service about your own health and treatment.
General information, not medical or medical or psychological advice
This guide explains how things generally work in the UK so you know what to ask. It is not advice about your situation, and Hearts Again is not a law firm, financial adviser or healthcare provider. Rules differ between England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland and can change. Before you make any decision, speak to a qualified professional:
- your GP, a pharmacist or NHS 111 (Scotland: NHS inform or 111). In an emergency, call 999
- your GP, a counsellor registered with the BACP, or Samaritans on 116 123 if you are struggling
- a sexual health clinic (find one on the NHS website), your GP, a pharmacist or NHS 111
The short answer
- Macmillan estimates around 3.5 million people in the UK were living with cancer in 2025. Many go on to date and form new relationships.
- There's no right time to start dating after cancer. It depends on your health, energy and how you feel emotionally.
- You don't have to mention cancer in your dating profile or on a first date. Many people share once they feel some trust.
- Changes to your body, energy and sex life after treatment are common. Your cancer team, GP or specialist nurse can talk you through support.
- A kind partner will respond with care. How someone reacts when you share your history tells you a lot about them.
- Support is available from Macmillan, Maggie's, cancer-specific charities and counselling services.
Knowing when you’re ready
There’s no set amount of time to wait before dating after cancer. Some people start dating during treatment. Others wait until treatment has finished, or until they’ve had time to adjust. Some people live with cancer long term and decide to date while managing their condition.
It may help to ask yourself:
- Do I have the energy? Fatigue is a common effect of cancer and its treatment, and can last for some time
- Do I feel emotionally ready? Many people experience anxiety, low mood or a sense of being changed after cancer
- Am I looking for company, a relationship or something else?
- Do I want to date, or do I feel I should?
- Have I had time to process what I’ve been through?
It’s also fine to change your mind. You might try dating and decide to pause, or find it’s exactly what you needed. Our guide to knowing when you’re ready to date again has more questions to think about.
If cancer ended a relationship
Some relationships end during or after cancer. A partner may not have coped, or the experience may have shown you that the relationship wasn’t right. Some people find that cancer clarifies what they want from life and love. If your relationship ended in a painful way, give yourself time to work through it, perhaps with a counsellor.
If you lost a partner to cancer
If your late husband, wife or partner died of cancer, and you’ve since had cancer yourself, dating can bring up complicated feelings. Our guide to dating after caring for a dying partner may also help.
Should you tell a date about cancer?
This is often the biggest worry. There’s no rule about what to share or when. It’s your health information, and you can decide.
Your dating profile
You don’t have to mention cancer in your profile. Some people prefer not to, so they can get to know someone first. Others choose to be upfront, for example by writing “Cancer survivor, back to enjoying life” or “Living well after cancer”. This can filter out people who wouldn’t be comfortable, and may help you connect with people who’ve had similar experiences.
If you do mention it, keep the focus on who you are now: your interests, your personality and what you’re looking for.
On early dates
Many people choose not to talk about cancer on a first date, unless it comes up naturally, or it’s very visible, for example if you’ve lost your hair or use a mobility aid. You might decide to mention it briefly, then move on: “I had breast cancer a couple of years ago. I’m doing well now, but it’s made me appreciate life.”
As things become more serious
Many people find it helps to share more about their health as a relationship develops, and before things become physical, especially if treatment has changed your body or your sex life. This gives the other person a chance to understand, and you a chance to see how they respond.
What to share
You might want to share:
- What type of cancer you had, or have, if you’re comfortable
- Where you are now, such as in remission, on maintenance treatment or living with cancer long term
- Anything that might affect the relationship, such as fatigue, regular appointments or physical changes
- How you feel about it, for example whether you prefer to talk openly or not dwell on it
You don’t have to share everything at once. You might start with the basics and add more as trust grows.
How people react
Most people respond with kindness. Some may be unsure what to say, or worry about saying the wrong thing. Some might have lost someone close to cancer, which can bring up their own feelings.
Occasionally, someone won’t want to continue dating. That can hurt, but it’s often more about their fears than about you. A partner who can’t cope with your health history is unlikely to be the right partner for you.
Body confidence after cancer
Cancer and its treatment can change your body in ways that affect how you feel about yourself. Common changes include:
- Scars, from surgery
- Changes to or loss of a breast
- A stoma, after bowel or bladder surgery
- Hair loss or changes to hair
- Weight changes
- Lymphoedema, which is swelling, often in an arm or leg
- Changes to skin, nails or energy levels
Many people find it takes time to feel comfortable with these changes, especially in front of a new partner. It may help to:
- Take your time. You don’t have to be intimate until you’re ready
- Choose when and how to share, for example explaining a scar before you undress, if that feels easier
- Focus on what you enjoy about yourself, not only what’s changed
- Wear what makes you feel good, whether that’s a favourite outfit or lingerie designed for people who’ve had breast surgery
- Connect with others, for example through Macmillan’s Online Community or support groups
Some charities offer practical help with appearance. For example, Look Good Feel Better runs workshops for people with cancer. Your specialist nurse may know of local services. Our guide to feeling attractive again has wider ideas for building confidence later in life.
Sex and intimacy after cancer
It’s common for cancer and its treatment to affect your sex life. You might experience:
- Low desire, often linked to fatigue, stress or treatment
- Vaginal dryness or pain, for example after treatment that affects hormones
- Erection problems, for example after treatment for prostate, bladder or bowel cancer
- Changes in sensation
- Anxiety about being intimate with someone new
These issues are common, and help is available. Your cancer team, GP or specialist nurse can talk to you about what’s happening and what might help. They’re used to these conversations, even if they don’t always raise the subject themselves. You can also ask to be referred to a psychosexual service or speak to an accredited sex therapist. Macmillan and other cancer charities have information on sex and relationships after cancer.
Many people find that intimacy after cancer looks different, but can still be very fulfilling. Touch, closeness and affection matter, and sex doesn’t have to mean penetration. Our guides to sex with a new partner after 50, intimacy without sex after 50 and erectile dysfunction and dating cover this in more depth.
Fatigue and energy
Fatigue can make dating tiring. It may help to:
- Plan dates at times when you usually have more energy, such as late morning or lunchtime
- Keep early dates short, such as a coffee or a walk
- Choose places with seating and easy access to toilets, if that’s important for you
- Be honest if you need to cut a date short, or reschedule
Our guide to first date ideas over 50 has suggestions for low-key dates.
Fear of recurrence
Many people who’ve had cancer worry it might come back. That fear can affect dating in different ways. You might feel you don’t want to “burden” a new partner, or feel you should make the most of every moment. Some people hold back from commitment. Others find they want to commit more quickly.
These feelings are normal. It may help to:
- Talk to your cancer team about your individual risk, if you’d find that helpful
- Share your worries with a partner as the relationship develops
- Get support, for example through Macmillan, Maggie’s, a counsellor or a support group
Remember that everyone faces uncertainty about the future, whether or not they’ve had cancer. You deserve love and companionship, whatever your health.
Living with cancer long term
Some people live with cancer as a long-term condition, with ongoing treatment and regular appointments. Dating in this situation can raise extra questions, such as how much time you’ll have for a relationship, and how to talk about the future.
It may help to:
- Be honest about your situation as the relationship develops
- Talk about what matters to you, such as companionship, fun or travel
- Think about what you can offer and what you need
- Get support from your care team and charities
Our guide to dating with a health condition covers some of the practical side of dating while managing health issues.
Dating apps and online dating after cancer
Many people meet partners online after cancer. A few things may help:
- Choose photos that show you as you are now. It can be tempting to use older pictures from before treatment, but recent photos help avoid awkward surprises and build trust
- Decide in advance how you’ll answer health questions, so you feel more in control if someone asks
- Use messaging and video calls to get a feel for someone before you meet, which can save energy if you get tired easily
- Be cautious about anyone who seems overly interested in your health or finances, or who quickly asks for money. Sadly, some scammers target people who have been through illness or loss. Our guide to romance scam messages explains the warning signs
Some people find it easier to meet others who have had cancer themselves, for example through support groups, charity events or online communities. Shared experience can make it easier to talk openly, although it’s not essential. Plenty of people find loving partners who have never had cancer.
Changes in how you see life
Many people find that cancer changes their priorities. You may be clearer about what you want, less willing to waste time on the wrong person, or keen to try new things. Some people describe feeling braver about dating after facing something so frightening. Others feel more cautious or vulnerable. Both are understandable. It may help to think about what matters most to you now in a partner, such as kindness, humour, shared interests or someone who is comfortable talking about health, and to let that guide your choices.
If you’re dating someone who has had cancer
If your new partner has had cancer, you might feel unsure how to respond. It may help to:
- Listen, and let them share at their own pace
- Ask how they’d like to be supported, rather than assuming
- Avoid comparisons, such as “my aunt had that”
- Don’t treat them as fragile. They’re still the person you were attracted to
- Be honest about any worries you have, kindly
- Look after yourself, especially if cancer has affected your own life in the past
If you’re worried, Macmillan’s Support Line can also help partners, family and friends.
Practical matters
Travel insurance
If you’re planning holidays with a new partner, you may need travel insurance that covers your medical history. Macmillan has information on finding insurance after a cancer diagnosis. Our guide to singles holidays also covers some of the practicalities of travelling.
Work and money
Cancer can affect your income and work. If money is a worry, Macmillan offers financial guidance and benefits advice. Our guide to money in later-life relationships looks at talking to a partner about finances.
Your rights
In England, Wales and Scotland, the Equality Act 2010 treats cancer as a disability from the point of diagnosis, which gives protection against discrimination in areas such as work. In Northern Ireland, similar protections are provided under separate legislation. If you think you’ve been treated unfairly, you can get advice from Citizens Advice or an employment adviser.
Where to get support
- Macmillan Support Line: 0808 808 00 00, for information and emotional support
- Macmillan Online Community, where you can talk to others who’ve had cancer
- Maggie’s, which runs centres across the UK offering free practical and emotional support
- Cancer-specific charities, such as Breast Cancer Now, Prostate Cancer UK and Bowel Cancer UK
- Your GP, cancer team or specialist nurse
- Counselling services, including through the NHS, Relate, Relationships Scotland and Relate NI
- Samaritans: 116 123, free and 24 hours, if you’re struggling to cope
Common situations
“I had a mastectomy and I’m terrified of being seen naked”
That’s a very common worry. Taking things slowly, and choosing when and how to share, can help. Many people find a kind partner makes it easier than they feared.
“He stopped replying after I mentioned cancer”
That hurts. It may be about his own fears. Someone who can’t cope with your history isn’t the right match.
“I’m in remission but I don’t know when to mention it”
There’s no rule. Many people share once they feel some trust, and before things become physical.
“I want to date, but I’m tired all the time”
Short, low-key dates at the right time of day can help. Talk to your care team about fatigue.
“My new partner keeps treating me like I’m fragile”
Let them know kindly that you appreciate their care, but want to be treated as a partner, not a patient.
Frequently asked questions
How soon can I date after cancer?
There’s no set time. It depends on your health, energy and how you feel emotionally.
Do I have to tell a date I’ve had cancer?
No. It’s your choice. Many people share as the relationship develops.
Will cancer affect my sex life?
It can. Changes are common, and your cancer team, GP or specialist nurse can talk to you about support.
Can I date while having treatment?
Some people do. It depends on how you feel. Your care team can talk to you about any practical issues.
Where can I get support?
Macmillan, Maggie’s, cancer-specific charities and your care team can all help.
Related guides
- Vaginal dryness and new relationships
- Dating with a health condition
- Erectile dysfunction and dating after 50
- Sex with a new partner after 50
- Intimacy without sex after 50
- How to feel attractive again
- Dating after caring for a dying partner
Sources
- Macmillan Cancer Support, “Cancer prevalence”, estimate of 3.5 million people living with cancer in the UK in 2025.
- Equality Act 2010.
- Macmillan Cancer Support; Maggie’s; Look Good Feel Better; Breast Cancer Now; Prostate Cancer UK; Bowel Cancer UK; Samaritans.