If you’re dating again after a long marriage or relationship, sexual health may be something you haven’t had to think about for 20 or 30 years. Many people starting again in their fifties and sixties have never had a sexual health test. Many assume that once pregnancy is no longer possible, protection isn’t needed. And many feel embarrassed at the idea of walking into a clinic, or of asking a new partner when they were last tested.
This guide explains, in plain terms, what sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are worth knowing about, how and where to get tested for free in the UK, how long to wait after sex before testing, what happens at a clinic or with a home kit, and how to raise the subject with someone new without it feeling like an interrogation.
It’s general information based on NHS and UK Health Security Agency (UKHSA) guidance, to help you understand the services available. It isn’t medical advice. For advice about your own health, including symptoms, testing or treatment, contact a sexual health clinic, GP or NHS 111.
General information, not medical advice
This guide explains how things generally work in the UK so you know what to ask. It is not advice about your situation, and Hearts Again is not a law firm, financial adviser or healthcare provider. Rules differ between England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland and can change. Before you make any decision, speak to a qualified professional:
- a sexual health clinic (find one on the NHS website), your GP, a pharmacist or NHS 111
The short answer
- STIs don't stop being a risk at menopause or retirement. Condoms protect against infection, not just pregnancy.
- Many STIs have no symptoms, so the only way to know is to be tested.
- Sexual health clinics in the UK are free and confidential. You don't usually need a GP referral.
- Many NHS areas offer free home test kits by post.
- The NHS advises that STIs can take up to 7 weeks to show on a test, so timing matters. A modern lab HIV test is reliable 45 days after possible exposure.
- If you think you've been exposed to HIV, emergency medicine called PEP needs to be started within 72 hours, and the sooner the better.
- Asking a new partner about testing is normal. Suggesting you both get tested is often the easiest way in.
Why sexual health matters when you’re dating again later in life
When people think about sexual health campaigns, they tend to picture teenagers and students. But the practical risks don’t depend on your age. They depend on whether you’re having sex with someone new, whether you use condoms, and whether either of you has an infection.
People dating again after 50 are often at a particular disadvantage for a few reasons.
- Contraception was the focus last time. If the last time you were single, condoms were mainly about avoiding pregnancy, it’s easy to forget their other job.
- You may never have been tested. Someone who has been married for 30 years may have had no reason to test. The same may be true of the person you’re dating, which means neither of you knows your status.
- Your partner’s history is longer too. Someone in their late fifties may have had several relationships since their divorce, or may have been single for years. You can’t tell by looking.
- Doctors don’t always ask. GPs are less likely to raise sexual health with older patients, so you may need to raise it yourself.
- Physical changes can increase risk. After menopause, thinner and drier vaginal tissue can tear more easily during sex, which may make infection easier to pass on. Erection difficulties can make condoms harder to use consistently.
What the latest figures show
UKHSA’s report on STIs in England, published in June 2026, recorded 334,151 new STI diagnoses in 2025. That was 8.3% lower than in 2024. Gonorrhoea diagnoses fell by 10.9% to 63,943, and infectious syphilis fell by 13.5% to 8,262. Those falls are welcome, but the numbers are still large, and they only count infections that were diagnosed. Because so many STIs have no symptoms, many infections go undiagnosed.
The report doesn’t give a separate trend for people over 45, so we’re not going to claim infections are rising in older people. The point is simpler: if you’re having sex with new partners, you’re in the group the testing advice applies to.
The main STIs to know about
You don’t need to become an expert, but it helps to know the names and what they can do. The NHS has detailed pages on each.
| Infection | What it is | Symptoms | Treatment |
|---|---|---|---|
| Chlamydia | Bacterial infection | Often none. Sometimes pain when urinating, unusual discharge, bleeding after sex | Antibiotics |
| Gonorrhoea | Bacterial infection | Often none, especially in women. Sometimes discharge or pain when urinating | Antibiotics (some strains are becoming resistant) |
| Syphilis | Bacterial infection | A painless sore, later a rash or flu-like symptoms. Can be missed | Antibiotics, usually an injection |
| Genital herpes | Viral infection | Blisters or sores, but many people have mild or no symptoms | No cure, but antiviral medicine controls outbreaks |
| Genital warts (HPV) | Viral infection | Small growths, often painless | Creams or freezing. The virus may clear on its own |
| HIV | Viral infection affecting the immune system | Often none for years. Sometimes a flu-like illness soon after infection | No cure, but daily treatment means a normal life expectancy and stops it being passed on |
| Hepatitis B | Viral infection of the liver | Often none | Usually clears in adults. Vaccination prevents it |
| Trichomoniasis | Parasitic infection | Discharge, itching, soreness, or none | Antibiotics |
The important point about symptoms
The NHS is clear that many STIs have no symptoms, and that you can have an infection without knowing and pass it on. Some, such as chlamydia and gonorrhoea, can cause long-term problems if they’re not treated. That’s why testing matters even if you feel fine.
When to get checked straight away
Contact a sexual health clinic, GP or NHS 111 if you notice:
- pain or burning when you urinate
- unusual discharge from the vagina, penis or anus
- sores, blisters, lumps or a rash around the genitals or anus
- itching or soreness
- bleeding after sex or between periods, or any bleeding after menopause
- pain in the lower abdomen or testicles
Some of these can have other causes, but they’re all worth checking.
Where to get tested in the UK
Sexual health clinics
Sexual health clinics, sometimes called GUM (genitourinary medicine) clinics, offer free, confidential testing and treatment on the NHS. The NHS says you don’t usually need a GP referral or an appointment, but it’s best to contact the clinic first to check how they work. Many now run appointment-only services or offer online booking.
Clinic staff see people of every age. They won’t be surprised or judgemental that someone in their sixties is getting tested.
You can find your nearest service by searching “find STI testing and treatment” on the NHS website, or through NHS inform in Scotland, NHS 111 Wales or nidirect in Northern Ireland.
Free home test kits
Many NHS sexual health services offer free home testing kits by post. You order online, receive the kit in plain packaging, take a urine sample or swab and a small finger-prick blood sample, post it back and get results by text or phone. Services such as SH:24 provide kits for many NHS areas in England, and Sexual Health NI offers home testing in Northern Ireland. Availability depends on where you live, so check your local service.
Home kits usually test for chlamydia, gonorrhoea, HIV and syphilis. They’re a good option if you’re nervous about going to a clinic, but a clinic is better if you have symptoms.
Your GP
You can ask your GP for a test, although they’ll often refer you to a sexual health clinic for a full check.
Paid-for private tests
Pharmacies and private companies sell test kits and clinic appointments. These can be convenient, but they’re not necessary for most people because free NHS services are available. If you do use one, check what’s included and that the results come with advice on treatment.
When to get tested: timing after sex
STIs don’t show up on a test straight away. The time between infection and a reliable test result is called the window period. If you test too early, you may get a negative result even though you have an infection.
- General advice. The NHS says STIs can take up to 7 weeks after unprotected sex to show up on a test, and that if you don’t have symptoms it’s best to wait 7 weeks before testing.
- HIV. According to the HIV charity NAM aidsmap, modern laboratory HIV tests have a window period of 45 days. Rapid finger-prick tests and self-tests have a window period of 90 days.
- If you have symptoms, don’t wait. Get checked now. A clinic can test and treat you, and may ask you to come back for further tests later.
A clinic can advise on the right timing for your circumstances. Many people test once soon after a new relationship starts and again later to cover the window period.
Emergency HIV medicine: PEP
If you think you’ve been exposed to HIV, for example after sex without a condom with someone whose HIV status you don’t know and who may be at higher risk, there is emergency medication called post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP). It must be started within 72 hours, and the sooner the better. You can get it free from sexual health clinics and, out of hours, from A&E.
PEP isn’t routine and isn’t a substitute for condoms, but it’s worth knowing it exists.
PrEP
PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) is medication taken by people who are HIV-negative to prevent infection. It’s available free on the NHS from sexual health clinics for people at higher risk. A clinic can tell you whether it’s suitable for you.
Vaccinations worth asking about
Some infections can be prevented with vaccines.
- Hepatitis B. Available from sexual health clinics for people at higher risk.
- HPV. The UK programme vaccinates younger people, and it’s offered to some adults through sexual health clinics, depending on eligibility.
- Mpox. Offered to people at higher risk through sexual health clinics.
A clinic can tell you which, if any, apply to you.
What happens at a sexual health clinic
If you haven’t been to a clinic before, knowing what to expect makes it much less daunting.
- Booking or arriving. Check your local clinic’s system. Some are walk-in, some appointment-only.
- Registration. You’ll usually be asked for your name, date of birth and contact details. You don’t have to give your real name at many clinics, and your GP won’t be told without your permission.
- A private conversation. A nurse or doctor will ask about your recent sexual partners, whether you used condoms, and any symptoms. These questions are routine and help them decide which tests you need.
- The tests. Usually a urine sample, a swab (which you can often take yourself), and a small blood sample. An examination is only needed if you have symptoms.
- Results. Some are available the same day. Others take a week or two and are usually sent by text.
- Treatment. If you test positive for something, treatment is free. For bacterial infections this is usually a short course of antibiotics.
Telling previous partners
If you test positive for some infections, the clinic will explain why it’s important for recent partners to be tested. They can contact partners anonymously for you if you’d rather not do it yourself.
How to talk to a new partner about sexual health
This is the part people dread, but it’s usually easier than expected. Most adults respect someone who raises it.
When to bring it up
Before you have sex, ideally not in the heat of the moment. A calm conversation a few days before is easiest. Our guide to sex with a new partner after 50 covers the wider conversation about timing and expectations.
What to say
Keep it simple and make it about both of you, not an accusation.
- “Before things go any further, I’d like us both to get tested. I haven’t been since my marriage ended, so I’ll do it too.”
- “I’d like us to use condoms until we’ve both had a check-up.”
- “When were you last tested? I’m going to get one done this week.”
- “I’ve ordered a home test kit. Would you be willing to do one too?”
If they react badly
A partner who laughs it off, says they’re “clean”, refuses condoms or gets annoyed is telling you something useful. You don’t need to have sex with someone who won’t take your health seriously. Our guide to first date safety has more on trusting your instincts.
Sharing results
Some couples show each other their results. Others simply agree that both have tested negative. Whatever you decide, remember that a test only covers the period before the window, so if either of you has had other partners since, it’s out of date.
When to stop using condoms
Some couples decide to stop using condoms once they’re exclusive and have both tested negative after the window period. A sexual health clinic can explain the testing and timing involved. Any decision like this also relies on both people being honest about exclusivity. Our guide on exclusivity after 50 explains how to have that conversation.
Condoms and lubricant: what the NHS says
This is general information from NHS and sexual health services. A pharmacist or sexual health clinic can advise on the right products for you.
- Free condoms are available from sexual health clinics and, in many areas, from some pharmacies and other services.
- Lubricant and latex: the NHS explains that oil-based products, such as body lotion, petroleum jelly or massage oil, can damage latex condoms, and that water-based or silicone-based lubricants are the ones to use with them.
- Latex allergy: non-latex condoms are available.
- Erection difficulties can make condoms harder to use. Different sizes and shapes exist, and a pharmacist or clinic can talk through options.
- Internal condoms (sometimes called female condoms) are an alternative that can be put in before sex.
- Dental dams can be used for oral sex.
- Having your own supply means you’re not relying on a new partner to have them.
Sexual health if you’re widowed or recently divorced
If you’re widowed, you may not have thought about STIs since before you were married, and the subject can feel strange alongside grief. It’s entirely practical, not a comment on your late partner.
If you’re divorced or separated, particularly if your marriage ended because of an affair, some people choose to get tested before they start dating, and a sexual health clinic can talk this through with you. You can’t be sure of your ex-partner’s history, and some infections can stay undetected for years.
Privacy and confidentiality
Sexual health services are confidential. Your GP won’t normally be told about a visit to a sexual health clinic unless you agree, except in rare cases where there’s a serious risk of harm. Results from home kits are sent to you privately. If you live with family and are worried about post, check how the kit is packaged. They’re normally sent in plain envelopes.
Frequently asked questions
Do I need to worry about STIs after menopause?
Yes. Menopause ends the possibility of pregnancy, not the risk of infection. Condoms and testing are still relevant.
Is STI testing free in the UK?
Yes. NHS sexual health clinics provide free, confidential testing and treatment, and many areas offer free home test kits by post.
Do I need a GP referral to go to a sexual health clinic?
Usually not, but contact the clinic first to check how they run appointments.
How soon after sex should I get tested?
The NHS says STIs can take up to 7 weeks to show on a test, so if you have no symptoms it’s best to wait 7 weeks. For HIV, a lab test is reliable at 45 days and a self-test at 90 days. If you have symptoms, get checked straight away.
Can I get tested at home?
In many areas, yes. Search for your local NHS sexual health service to see whether free home kits are available where you live.
Will my family or GP find out?
Not usually. Sexual health services are confidential and won’t normally contact your GP unless you agree.
What if my partner says they’ve been tested?
It’s reasonable to ask when, and whether they’ve had other partners since. Suggesting you both test is often simpler than relying on what someone says.
Related guides
- Sex with a new partner after 50: timing, talking and boundaries
- After a sexless marriage: rebuilding sexual confidence
- Exclusivity after 50
- First date safety
- Dating after divorce
Sources
- NHS, Sexually transmitted infections (STIs): symptoms, testing, sexual health clinics and the 7-week testing guidance.
- NHS, Find STI testing and treatment service.
- UK Health Security Agency, Sexually transmitted infections and chlamydia screening in England: 2025 data (published June 2026).
- NAM aidsmap, What is the window period for HIV testing?
- NHS, Post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) and PrEP guidance.
- SH:24 and Sexual Health NI, home testing services.